It’s Not About You

There are moments in life when we tend to forget a simple concept; that it isn’t always about you.

Ever since I began working I have been searching for ways to unlock doors that would allow opportunity for a career in international markets with whatever company I found myself working for.  My early jobs were quite limited in allowing such a move but eventually I found opportunity at the Box Factory where I began working during my Freshman year of college.

Much of the product that we were building was beginning to be outsourced to countries around the world.  Since I had no real plans of staying with this company for more than a short period of time, I wasn’t bothered by the fact that I would be teaching people how to do my job, my only concern was being able to travel.

In order to facilitate this transfer the company needed knowledgeable people to train the workers overseas.  There were opportunities to travel to places like Mexico, China & Poland.  Where you went was determined by which department you worked in.    I was open to travelling anywhere but I really wanted to see China.

After working for a couple of years I had gained enough seniority to be able to transfer into the department that was shipping their products to Shanghai.  People in this department were constantly leaving for China & returning after month long assignments.  I knew that if I wanted to stand a chance at being one of those people that I would have to learn the product thoroughly & do everything I could to stand out above the crowd.

I expressed my interest in travelling overseas to anyone who would listen.  Each time I would discuss the possibility with a team leader or supervisor I paid attention to everything they said as I believed their words might hold the secret to unlocking the door.  If they suggested I do something to improve or that I take on roles which were not in my job description, I was happy to do so.

Eventually I began training new employees in our department & I knew it was only a matter of time before management began to take notice of all my hard work and ambition.  Anytime I had a break from classes (Christmas, Summer) I would remind my team leader & supervisor that I was still interested in helping train overseas and that I would be available to do so.

After months of not getting anywhere I decided to try my luck with my manager.  If he couldn’t help me, no one could.  I arranged a time to meet with him to discuss my future with the company.  When the day came I made sure that I wore nice clothes in order to appear professional.  We shook hands and got down to business.

He asked me some questions about school and what my future plans were.  I was honest and told him that once I was done with school that I would be transferring somewhere else to finish my degree.  We discussed a wide variety of topics, many which didn’t have anything to do with why I was there.  Finally the conversation settled on China.

This was my time to shine.  I launched into a monologue about how this position was perfect for me, how I love to travel, I this & I that.  About two minutes into my speach he stopped me and asked if he could give me some advice.  I said he could.

His advice was simple; “Its not about you.  It is about how you can benefit the company, not how we can benefit you.”

Talk about taking the wind out of my sails.  I didn’t know what to say or where to go.  It felt like I had just been kicked in the groin.  I had blown my opportunity & I felt broken.  He went on to discuss methods of conversation in which I could still get what I wanted without phrasing things in a way which seem self-absorbed.  While I was disappointed in myself, I listened to his advice.  I knew what he was telling me was honest and genuine and that it might just hold that key I had been looking for all along.

“It’s not about you” is a powerful lesson I learned the hard way.  My persistence was thwarted by my ambition.  If I find myself in a similar situation in the future I have experience on my side.  Knowing what to say is just as important as knowing what not to say.  When you want something from someone else, find a way to show them that you are of value to them.  Present yourself in a way that highlights what you can do to benefit them, not how they can benefit you.