Doing Handstands

September 25, 2010 4 Comments

I love having my picture taken at iconic locations around the world but I’m getting tired of just standing there proudly with my arms in one of three positions (on my hips, crossed or by my side).  I have the same picture of myself many times over with a variety of different backgrounds.  How boring is that!?

This summer I began doing something different: handstands.

When I was in Hawaii a few months ago I wanted a “fun” picture.  The first thing that came to mind was to do a handstand.  I raised my hands above my head and threw myself forward in a desperate attempt to get my feet in the air.  I can’t tell you the last time I tried to do a handstand and the picture is evidence that I’m not very good at them!  I’ve been doing handstands ever since.

It’s become a bit of an obsession of mine, actually.  Now I think of all the places I can visit just to do a handstand in front of that landmark.  The Great Wall, the Eiffel Tower, Stonehenge, the Leaning Tower, the Pyramids, Machu Picchu, Easter Island, Taj Majal…

Where am I going with this?

Do what makes you happy.  I dream of the next place that I will get to do a handstand and that motivates me to make it happen.  Instead of imagining myself at these places, I picture myself upside down in front of them and I get excited thinking about being there.

Now I have something that drives me to visit these places.  My desire to travel is amped up tenfold just by the thought of doing something so simple as a handstand.  Angkor Wat?  Yeah, that’s cool…but doing a handstand while there?  That’s awesome!

When you find something in life that gives you meaning, chase after it with all your energy!  People might wonder what’s wrong with you (they certainly look at you weird when you’re trying to do a handstand for the fifteenth time!)  Let them wonder.  What matters is that you’re living your life, on your terms and you’re doing what makes you happy.

And so my friends, where will my upcoming adventures take me?  Into which soils will I plant my hands next?  I know…but Erin won’t let me tell you…yet!

What motivates you to accomplish your dreams?

Filed under Inspiration, Motivation, Passion, Travel

A World That Isn’t Ours

September 17, 2010 Leave a comment

There are times when I get down on myself, when I feel like I haven’t accomplished enough in my 28 years of life on Earth.  I question whether I am making the right decisions, if I couldn’t be doing something else…something better.  And when I begin to doubt myself in this way, I feel like throwing everything I have right out the window and starting over from scratch.  Nothing would be spared.  I’d sell my Stuff and move to some exotic place, leaving behind all of my friends and family.

It would be my rebirth.

I could be anyone I wanted to be, anywhere I decided to settle and spend my time with whomever I chose.  I could make new friends and experience a life beyond my imagination.  Sometimes I find myself dreaming about the different places I could be…at this very moment.  Maybe I’d be running through Central Park or wandering the Great Wall.  I think about the type of person I could be.  Maybe I’d be a  wealthy clothing designer in Milan or a homeless transient wandering through the most beautiful places nature has to offer.  I could be this, I could do that, I could be there….but I’m not, thrice.

I dream of all the things I’m not, in the process forgetting all that I am and how good my life actually is.  I have a home, copious amounts of food on the table, nice clothes to wear and a girlfriend who shares my passion for travel and puts up with my (many) idiosyncracies.  I have everything I could ask for, I know it, and still I have moments when I want more, different, better.  I am consumed by thoughts of what I’m not and all that I don’t have.

Life’s forbidden fruits lure my mind into feeling this way, into the feeling that all that I am isn’t good enough.  Into the feeling that happiness is ”out there.”  All the beautiful places calling to me like a siren’s song, the smooth skin and plump lips of a beautiful woman across the room tempting me, the “promise” of a more satisfying life with more money.  All these things seductively asking me, “Is your life good enough?”  I feel like a child with my face pressed tightly against the display window of a candy store, looking into a world that isn’t mine.

And suddenly my perfect life doesn’t seem so perfect anymore.

As I imagine myself in that other, better life, I try to envision how that life would play out.  Would living somewhere else really make me happy?  I suppose it’s possible.  I am happier today than I was a year ago when I moved away from my hometown.  I wonder if a supermodel girlfriend would be any better than the girlfriend I already have.  It might be fun for a while but in the long run, I don’t know that things would really be that different.  Besides, Erin is beautiful and we get along great with each other.  Would new friends make life more interesting?  Maybe.  The friends I have now are really cool but more friends is never a bad thing.

Then what is the answer to these problems?

This is one of the fundamental issues with self-improvement; where to draw the line and accept the life you already have.  To know when good enough actually is good enough.  If we’re always seeking improvement in our lives, ultimately we will realize that there is no upper-limit.  There will always be more, different and better.  And someday we might find that we threw away a perfectly good life in our quest for an even better one.

There must be a point when we say to ourselves, “Yeah, that’s really nice but I’m happy just where I am.”

That point needs to come before we ruin the lives we already have.  We should improve our lives but within reason and rationality.  There is no reason to destroy a good life in our quest for greatness.  Real improvement comes from building from the foundation you’ve already established.  Improve the relationships, strengthen the bonds, improve your character, change your life for the better but without casting aside everything you’ve worked so hard for already.

As for that world that isn’t ours?  Maybe it isn’t ours for a reason…we just don’t know what the reason is and maybe we aren’t supposed to.

Filed under Awareness, Life, Lifestyle Engineering, Philosophy

Loaning Money is Stupid

September 15, 2010 Leave a comment

I won’t loan money to anyone.

I wouldn’t loan someone a penny to buy a candy bar.  I don’t care how much they might think they need their chocolate and even with the crazed looks of desperation, wild handwaving and dramatic music playing in the background, I just don’t care.  “No” will always be my answer.  Forever and always, anyone asking to borrow money from me will get the same response.  No.  No!  NO!!!  A million times, no.

Why?

The answer is simple.  Loaning money changes the dynamics of the relationship.  Now, instead of a friend, brother, sister, son or daughter, that person is a debtor.  In encounters and engagements which would’ve otherwise been carefree, now you begin questioning the intentions of that person, especially if they’ve had a hard time paying you back.  That doubt lingers in your mind like a fart in a crowded room.  You wonder if they’re thinking what you’re thinking but you’re afraid to ask because it would be awkward.  So you sit silently, brooding to yourself, counting the lost money and contemplating all the things that money could have been better used for.

I wish to avoid ever having to feel that way about anyone I care for, so that’s why when people ask me if they can borrow money I always tell them “No, but you can have it.”

If someone you know asks for money, especially an amount more than just chump change for a Hershey bar, chances are, they really need the help.  It takes a lot of courage to tell someone you’re having trouble making ends meet and that you could really use their help.

If you just loan the person money, what good does that do?  It only places yet another burden on them and it alters the relationship, sometimes in an irreparable way.  By giving them what financial support you can offer, you’re helping them instead of shuffling their problems from one hand to another.

A few dollars to someone in a bad situation will make a world of difference.  It can put food on the table for the next few days, keep a roof over someone’s head for the next month or keep the lights on a little while longer.  Knowing that you’re able to give that to someone is one of the best feelings in the world.  And for them, knowing that you expect nothing in return lifts some of the weight from their shoulders.

Here are a few suggestions for giving money:

Expect nothing in return.  This is unorthodox in our society, so expect wails of protest.  Insist and don’t end the conversation until you win.  If there is no winning, tell them that when they’re back on their feet they can buy you lunch.

You are not a charity.  People in need often flounder for a while before finding their footing.  Decide for yourself how much you’re willing to support them and make it clear.  If this is a one time deal, say so.  It’s hard to refuse money to someone who is in need but you must also take care of your own financial responsibilities.

Offer advice.  Sometimes all a person needs is someone to talk to.  Other times they need someone who can help them find resources or give them a ride somewhere.  Be that person if you are able.  There’s nothing worse than feeling like you are in it all alone.  Be a friend, give your shoulder to lean on and show them you care.

 …and “NO!” I won’t give you money to buy a candy bar either!!!  Sheesh!

Filed under Debt, Money, Relationships, Spending

Our Fear of Change

September 4, 2010 Leave a comment

Do you sometimes find yourself wondering how you ever ended up here?  Could you have done better?  Might things have been different, if only…the thoughts begin swirling around in your mind and soon you are second guessing the way your life has turned out. 

We all face moments of doubt; moments when we feel as though we’ve diverged from our path.  One morning we might wake up only to realize that we are in the midst of a journey we never should have been on in the first place.  In our moments of doubt we feel vulnerable; uncertain and insecure about where we are, wondering where it all might have went wrong…and it paralyzes us.

We’re afraid to change.  Not because we don’t want to change but because change is uncomfortable.  Finding the courage to make a major life-altering change is like trying to find the cojones to ask out the prettiest girl in school.  As much as you want to go on a date with her, it’s practically impossible to work up the nerve to introduce yourself (while not making a complete ass of yourself in the process).  The same is true for changing your life.  It is hard, it will be scary and you may even question your sanity at times.

Day after day we go through the motions of life.  We know something in our life isn’t right and despite our recognition that something is amiss, we shield ourselves from the truth. We try hiding behind the little lies we all tell ourselves; that things will get better, that he will change, that I’ll be promoted if only I work more hours…

We tell ourselves these things because we’re afraid to say “Screw it!”

We’re scared to quit, to cut our losses and move on to something else.  Afterall, we’ve invested so much time, money and effort into it that moving on would mean all our energy has been for naught.  So a relationship that has long ago soured lingers only because of the fond memories you once shared.  A bad investment stays in your portfolio because you can’t bear to take a loss, all the while its value continues to plummet.  And that degree in computer science that promised riches…well, rich you may be but happy you are not.

We must overcome the fears that strangle our dreams.  It’s time to be honest with yourself, say “Screw it!” and move forward.  Things change, people change, values change, beliefs change.  Life is dynamic.  Embrace change with an open heart.  The time, energy and money are all gone.  You will never be able to get them back.  So ask yourself, is it really worth it to invest more into this or are you just beating a dead horse?

We’ve all heard the stories of people who find themselves on the verge of death only to come back a changed person.  They quit their jobs, divorce their husband and chase after their passions.  These people aren’t crazy.  They get it!  They understand that this life is all they are ever promised and even a moment of dissatisfaction is a moment too many.  Don’t go another day questioning your life.  Change it!  You might not be so lucky as to have a second chance to get things right.

Find your happiness.

Filed under Attitude, Inspiration, Prioritizing

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