Ruby Slippers

Dealing with Doubters, Haters & Critics

There’s something magical about having a dream…

A dream of going to medical school … or of running away to join the Peace Corps.

When we think of our dreams, we lapse into a frame of mind in which we believe anything is possible. The opportunities seem endless. A flood of joy washes over us as we envision our future successes and we feel compelled to share our dreams with the world.

But when we do, we’re bound to be met with doubt and criticism … even hate.

The Doubters. There will always be people who tell you you’re not being reasonable and proceed to point out all of the ways you might fail.

Most of these people mean well in their warnings and only want the very best for you. They’re the people who love you most. But they don’t understand why you’d want to sacrifice the safety and security of the familiar in order to chase a dream they consider impractical. “Look at your cousin,” they say. “She’s successful. She has a good job, a nice house, a great husband and cute kids.” In their opinion, it’s better to be safe than sorry. It’s not their intent to stifle your ambitions, they’re just uncertain and worried about you.

It’s not easy having your ambitions dashed by the people who you need most to believe in you. Don’t get discouraged by their lack of enthusiasm. Consider and respect their opinions (their advice is sincere and valuable) but don’t let their doubt create doubt in your heart.

Always believe in yourself.

There is no great genius without some touch of madness. ~ Seneca

The Haters. Haters gonna hate. Fuck ‘em.

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. ~ E. Hubbard

The Critics. When you’re criticized, it might feel like you’re under attack. Instead of feeling defensive, embrace your critics. You should invite constructive criticism and accept their opinions with an open mind. If all you ever receive are insincere accolades, where’s the motivation to improve?  Your critics can offer valuable insight and provide new perspectives you hadn’t considered before. It allows an opportunity to learn and grow.

As much as we thirst for approval we dread condemnation. ~ H. Selye

Most people want you to succeed. Those with reservations about your dreams simply lack the courage to do what you’re going to do. People who offer sincere and constructive criticism only want the best for you … and the best from you.

Few people hope for you to fail. Those who do aren’t worth your attention. Ignore them. There are plenty of people who will support your dreams. Surround yourself with these people and set the world on fire!

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2 thoughts on “Dealing with Doubters, Haters & Critics

  1. Well, this is my big problem you touch here. It’s easy to say “don’t let their doubt create doubt in your heart.” Hard to do. I love my husband, he’s the closest person in the world to me, but whenever I talk to him about some my ideas he usually doesn’t believe in them. But I do really need his support and help for even trying, I can’t do it alone. And even if I’d like to try along, my darling sees it as a problem because it will take my time from things he feels is much more important, like home and kids and cost money so it all becomes so problematic that I get upset even thinking about it.

    • I think it’s common for our loved ones to be the people who challenge us the most. They’re the ones who are most comfortable speaking their minds. I sometimes feel the same way when I have an idea of doing something and I’m reminded by Erin (my girlfriend) about everything I’d failed to consider. But I take her input in stride and do what I can to still follow through wth my idea while also being sure I’m sensitive to the needs of others or of my responsibilities as a partner. It doesn’t mean I abandon everything. Everyone has responsibilities, but we shouldn’t just forget about our dreams. We try finding a balance.

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