The Backup Plan

I should be gone by now.

Six months ago, I was certain that today would be the day I left for the Peace Corps. Today would be the first day of the rest of my life. Today was supposed to be a bittersweet day of excitement, fear and anticipation. Today was going to be the most challenging day of my life, leaving everything behind for the next two years.

I’m still here. After a year of applications, interviews, paperwork, and doctor appointments, I’ve yet to hear anything from the Peace Corps regarding my eventual departure. And each day that passes makes it even more difficult to step away from my life as I begin to formulate my backup plan.

Backup Plan: Graduate School.

It’s not a perfect plan. I face a number of challenges in taking this route. I’ve been so focused on the Peace Corps that I’ve missed the application deadlines. But even if I wouldn’t have missed those deadlines, because I’ve decided I want to study Environmental Engineering, I have at least a year of remedial coursework to complete before I can even be considered for the program. Had I known earlier that I’d want to study engineering, I’d have prepared a little better. Now I’m planning for another year of Physics and Calculus courses.

I just have to keep moving forward. The path I’ve chosen may not be the path of least resistance, but quitting is not an option.

Goal #65) Earn my Bachelor Degree

The Most Important Year of My Life

Rare are the moments when what happens next will influence the rest of your life.

But that’s exactly where my life is today. It’s both exciting, and frightening. After years of being in the classroom, I finally graduated last week. I guess that means I’m a scientist. (Weird.) And now that I’m a scientist, at least in my education, it’s time to change the world. How, exactly, I go about doing that is yet to be determined.

Even though I’ve graduated, I’m enrolled in classes for Spring semester. I haven’t had much luck (any luck) finding a job (any job.) Instead of hanging around the apartment feeling sorry for myself, I’m going to use that time to further my education. There were some classes that I didn’t have an opportunity to take before graduation, and now that I have the time, it’d be a waste not to use it to my benefit.

Enrolling in classes isn’t without problems. If I receive an invitation to serve in the Peace Corps, I may have to drop out of school as early as April. But that’s only if I receive an invitation, and my departure date isn’t delayed for any reason. I’ve heard horror stories about that. At this point, I still have to submit what I hope will be the last of my medical information, which I expect will be mailed out within a couple of weeks. I still have one appointment before the paperwork is complete.

For a while I questioned whether the Peace Corps was the right choice for me at this point in my life. I think it is. An opportunity like this rarely presents itself…I’d be a fool to turn it down. And after writing a research paper about the connection between poverty and the environment in Tanzania, I feel like I have a better understanding of the types of issues I might be dealing with during my time in Africa. Knowledge is power! And now that I know more about the problems, I feel empowered to do my part to help. I might not be able to save the world, but I can help dig a well, or build a school.

Two years is a long time, and I know it’ll put a strain on my relationship with Erin. How could it not? Long distance relationships are notorious for problems. As much as I’d like to think our relationship is strong enough to weather the time apart, I don’t take it for granted that we’re not immune from the same problems other couples face. That said, I really think that if anyone can do it, we can.

In the meantime, until I hear something from the Peace Corps, I’ll continue looking for work. My job search will be limited to jobs that I wouldn’t have any issue quitting at the drop of a hat. It’d be a lot more difficult to quit a job I went to school for, and those are the kinds of bridges I’m not willing to burn, even for the Peace Corps.

And if none of the above works out, I’ll begin applying for graduate school. My school of choice is the University of Denver where I’d study Environmental Science, and specialize in Environmental Health. If I can get in. This would knock out Goal #63) Attend college in another state.

What’s all of this mean for my goals over the next year? A lot. If I’m not living in Africa in a few months, 2012 will be the year of climbing. If I am living in Africa, 2012 will be the year of climbing. Next year I’d like to climb Mount Whitney, Devil’s Tower, Kilimanjaro, and Ancient Art. I’d like to spend some time in Yosemite this summer…climbing.

I thought I’d get to hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon last July, but it didn’t work out. This year I’ll get my permit application submitted earlier than two weeks in advance. I’d also like to visit the last few states of America, and finally visit all 50. Alaska will be the most difficult, but who knows…it could happen. Anything is possible.

Are you looking forward to what the future has in store for you?

Going Through Changes

In less than two months I’ll graduate college.

This marks a significant turning point in my life since I’ve been a college student for something like six years. Not being in a classroom will be a huge change. And considering that I’m being thrust into the worst economy of my lifetime, I’m a little nervous about entering back into the “real world.” There’s not much reassurance that everything’s going to be okay.

Two months ago I was telling you that I thought I’d wait to join the Peace Corps, and instead go to graduate school. Despite thinking that now wasn’t the right time to join the Peace Corps, I decided to continue the application process, just to see if I’d receive an invitation to serve or not. I submitted my medical information at the end of September, and a few weeks ago received this update:

Peace Corps received the results of your physical exam on October 5, 2011. If the program you are nominated for is not scheduled to leave in the next 4 months you may not hear from Medical until the time of departure is closer. Currently those programs scheduled to leave in the next 4 months are being reviewed. For applicants leaving within 4 months Peace Corps may request additional medical information. Please respond quickly to these requests.

The program that I’ve been nominated for (Environmental Education/Awareness in Africa) is scheduled to leave in April so I don’t expect to hear anything until December or January. Since submitting my application, I’ve had a lot of opportunity to think about what I’d do if I actually did receive an invitation to serve, and I’ve decided that I’d be foolish not to accept it. Now I feel like my life is on hold while I wait…

And if I don’t get an invitation?

I’ll apply to graduate school at the University of Colorado – Denver, and continue my education in Environmental Science, specializing in Environmental Health (if they’ll have me, that is.) Moving to Denver without a job or a place to live is scary, and in some ways, it’s even more frightening to me than moving to Africa for two years. It’s not the moving that concerns me, but finding a job to support myself. I have some money saved up and will be able to survive for a little while, but without an income, it won’t last long.

I guess if all else fails, I’ll starve to death…

What Does the Future Hold?

In just over three months I’ll graduate from college…

And I’m scared to death about what comes next. For years I’ve thought my next step would be to join the Peace Corps. I’ve submitted my application, had my interview, and just finished up my medical and dental reviews. All that’s left is to mail the envelope. But I’m afraid.

I’m afraid of being rejected. And I’m afraid of being accepted…

It isn’t being there (wherever “there” is…right now it’s Africa, but that could change) that I’m afraid of. It’s not being here that bothers me the most. It’s what I’ll miss out on while I’m gone. It’s what I’ll have to sacrifice to leave; particularly graduate school, and my relationship.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how I’d like my life to be, and reaching any sort of definitive conclusion has been a real challenge for me. Next month I turn 29 and I feel like I’m running out of time to “fool around.” I’m already thinking about settling down, adopting children, and being “responsible.”

And so I’m left with the question of whether the Peace Corps is the “next step” in life, or if graduate school is the better option? I’ve always wanted to do both, but obviously I can’t do them at the same time. And in some ways, I feel like the Peace Corps would prevent me from moving forward, like I’d have to put my entire life on hold for two years.

I’ve been going back and forth trying to make the right decision, and as difficult as it is to “give up” on a dream, I think graduate school might be the next step in my life. It’s the choice that I feel would build the strongest foundation for my future. And even though I may not be joining the Peace Corps right now, it doesn’t mean I won’t some time in the future…or that I won’t change my mind yet again…and again, and again…

What are your thoughts? What do you think is the right choice?

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