Coloring Outside the Lines

January 18, 2011 3 Comments

Our lives are a work of art.

Each day, a new stroke of color added upon the canvas of our lives; the bright colors representing good times and the muted colors, times of struggle.  As our lives play out, the picture changes; a seamless metamorphosis into the person we are today.  Our lives are a canvas, yet we treat them more like a coloring book, always careful not to slip across predetermined societal boundaries.  We follow the rules and try to live up to other people’s expectations, sacrificing our identity and ignoring our authentic selves.

But our life hasn’t always been this way.

As a child, we ignored the lines in our coloring books; they presented no resistance to our crayons.  We scribbled and laughed, free to create without limitation.  As we got a little older, our parents taught us the “proper” coloring technique.  They praised us for staying inside the lines and our desire for affirmation killed our passion.  From then on  we restrained our enthusiasm and creativity, coloring diligently within the lines so that we might please our parents.

This was our first lesson in conformity: stay in the lines, follow the rules.

Things haven’t changed much since that first lesson.  Today we’re expected to assimilate at work and in our community.  There isn’t room for creativity and individuality.  We’re expected to follow the rules; go to college so that we might have a great career, settle down with a nice girl, get married and have 2.2 children.

It’s all anyone expects of you…but what if this isn’t the life you want for yourself?

It’s your life…paint your canvas however you wish.  If that means stepping outside of the box to find happiness, it’s time to do it.  Forget about the social expectations.  You weren’t born into this world for the pleasure and satisfaction of other people.  You don’t have to follow society’s rules and there’s no reason to buckle under the pressure to conform.  Be yourself, do what you love, be who you want to be and find happiness in your own way.  Erase the social restrictions that have been imposed upon you.

You don’t have to stay inside the lines.  Live life on your own terms and by your own guiding principles.  Life is too short to live according to someone else’s wishes.

“If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Filed under Inspiration

One Hundred Ways to Change Your Life

October 28, 2010 2 Comments

Make big plans.  Take big risks.  Question the status quo.  Understand that safety is an illusion.  Push beyond what you think you’re capable of.  Work hard.  Persevere.    Move with a sense of urgency.  Be purposeful in your actions.  Connect with people who can help you.  Build a support network.  Never give up.  Sacrifice.  Ignore trivial bullshit.  Ignore drama.  Learn to say no.  Say yes more often.  Put yourself in uncomfortable situations.  Challenge yourself.  Don’t be afraid to fail.  Persist.  Breathe.  Be grateful for life and everything you have.  Don’t worry about what’s missing.  Appreciate what is.

If you hate something, change it.  If it’s broken, fix it.  If it’s unnecessary, get rid of it.  Find what’s holding you back and remove it from your life.  Find opportunities to make your life meaningful.  Volunteer.  Donate blood.  Reach out to a friend and repair wounded relationships.  Forgive someone.  Give money to the homeless without concern of them using it to buy booze.  Hug someone.  Smile at a stranger.  Hold open the door for a pretty girl.  Tell your son that you love him, even if he wrinkles his nose at you.

Take a class for the sake of learning.  Struggle through a challenging book.  Learn something new each day.  Teach someone how to do something.  Buy lunch for the next person in line.  Tell them to Pay it Forward.  Take off your shoes and walk through the grass.  Smell the air.  Watch a squirrel collect nuts.  Fly a kite.  Take a walk.  Spend a few moments listening to nothing.  Turn off your cell phone.  Buy a plane ticket to a place you’ve never heard of.  Love.  Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

Bake cookies.  Take a bubble bath in the dark.  Relax.  Enjoy the moment.  Lose track of time.  Forget about tomorrow.  Stop living in the past.  Accept things as they are.  Give up control.  Commit to something.  Back out of something else.  Make a promise.  Tell someone a secret but don’t expect them to keep it.  Share a painful story with someone you love.  Don’t tell lies.  Always be honest.  Live life by your own standards of success.  Follow your morals.  Do what you think is right.  Laugh.

Dress sexy for your man.  Be her knight in shining armor.  Light candles.  Cook a meal together.  Snuggle.  Watch a lame 80′s movie.  Kiss passionately.  Write love letters to each other.  Remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place.  Tickle each other’s feet.  Give her a massage.

Get healthy.  Try yoga.  Sign up to participate in a 5k.  Participate!  Stop drinking soda.  Become a Vegan.  Do a hundred push-ups.  Exercise for half an hour each day.  Dance.  Listen to the birds chirping.  Feel the warmth of the sun on your face.  Pet a stranger’s dog.  Live!

The possibilities of your life are limited by your own imagination.  Dream big, achieve big.  Think small and flounder in mediocrity.

Filed under Inspiration

How to Give Your Life Meaning

October 26, 2010 Leave a Comment

A few weeks ago I wrote an article called Kim Kardashian’s Ass because I was frustrated with the lack of concern in our society for anything that doesn’t have boobs or isn’t Justin Bieber.  Now “Kim Kardashian Ass” has become the top Google Search people are using to find my blog.  I hope they read the article.

When I look at the people around me, I see, in Thoreau’s words, “a mass of men lead[ing] lives of quiet desperation,” each of us concerned exclusively on our own prerogatives.  We’re absorbed in a life of inflated importance; a life in which we’re the only person that matters.  We never stop to question the way things are, what we’re doing or how our actions might affect someone else or future generations.  “Fuck everyone else.”

I wonder what my generation is going to be remembered for.  What will our legacy be?

We must overcome the notion that we must be regular.  It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre. ~ Uta Hagen

Our lives revolve around keeping our 500 Facebook friends in the loop with our clever status updates: “Hey baby. Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo ’til I Google all over your Facebook?”   We’ve got better things to worry about than our soldiers on the other side of the planet who are dying in the dirt for cheap oil.  More important things like  The Biggest Loser and Dog the Bounty Hunter.  You know…reality.

If you’re searching for a way to bring meaning to your life, find ways of giving yourself to others.  Until you share your energy with the rest of the world, your existence is irrelevant and of little consequence to anyone else.  You must become part of something bigger than yourself; something that benefits other people, other places and future generations.

Wouldn’t you rather your life be an inspiration which motivates people to do something great with their own lives than to exist for no other reason than your own benefit?

Filed under Attitude, Inspiration, Prioritizing

…the World Needs You!

October 18, 2010 2 Comments

Often I’ll hear someone talking about how they wish they could solve the many problems in this world.  Their concerns sound genuine and heartfelt; “It’s so terrible what’s happening in Africa!  Those poor children, I wish there was something I could do.”

They wish there was something they could do, but…

…the money, the time, my family…job, house, school.  It isn’t our fault we can’t save the world…just look at our list of responsibilities!  They’re the reason!!!   We scroll through the archive in our mind, finding countless reasons why we can’t, each a reminder that we have other priorities and obligations that need to be met.  We convince ourselves that it just isn’t possible to escape the commitments.  It doesn’t take long before we’re using our excuses as a waiver of liability. 

Even though we want to help, somehow we’re comforted in knowing that we can’t.  It was a nice thought, anyway.

Have you ever thought to ask yourself whether or not that long list of ”responsibilities” isn’t really just a fairy tale?  A bunch of lies that you tell yourself so you’ll never need to deviate from the routine or step outside your comfort zone?  Let me ask you this: if you’re afraid to expand your horizons and challenge yourself to move beyond your comfort zone, are you really living…or simply existing?

When I hear people trying to justify why they can’t [whatever], I think about the people who can, who are and who did.  What if Martin Luther King, Jr had said “I have a dream, but…”, or if Gandhi never was the change he wished to see in the world?  What if all the people who ever changed the world, hadn’t?

All around us are everyday people doing extraordinary things.  Maybe you’ve heard of Albert Lexie, or maybe you haven’t.  He earns $10 an hour shining shoes.  Since 1982, Albert has donated all of his tip money to the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburg…more than $150,000.  Albert is only one example of countless people across the world whose actions could inspire a nation.  Each day people are being the change.  They, too, have a dream…

How would your life change if you were to quit making excuses?

Instead of just wishing there was something you could do to help the people of the world, without any excuses holding you back you are free to dig wells in Africa so the people can have access to clean drinking water.  If Africa isn’t your thing, you can volunteer at a soup kitchen in your own city and help feed the hungry.  Get involved!  Don’t waste another moment wishing you could help.

It’s time to quit making excuses, not only for yourself but for the world.  We need you!

Filed under Attitude, Behavior, Freedom, Goals, Happiness, Inspiration, Motivation, Opportunity, Passion, Potential, Prioritizing

The Secret to Happiness

October 15, 2010 1 Comment

What’s the secret to happiness?

A million dollars?  Maybe a house on an exotic island deep in the South Pacific?  A new wardrobe?  A better job or more recognition at the one you already have?  Maybe you’d be happy if things just weren’t how they are now…

Happiness can be hard to find.  As a matter of fact, our founding fathers only ever guaranteed us the right to pursue happiness, not to actually be happy.  And so we seek our happiness in many ways.

Some people find their “happiness” in shopping.  Others find it in a substance.  One person might discover that the “secret” to their happiness lies in the heart of another person while others never find exactly what it is they’re looking for.  Indeed, happiness is elusive to those who seek it.

It’s hard to find because we’re looking in all the wrong places.  Happiness isn’t something we’ve lost.  You see, the secret to happiness isn’t that it’s somewhere “out there” for us to find…it’s already inside of us.

Of course, accepting that happiness can’t be bought, snorted or borrowed from another is confusing to understand in a society that subliminally punishes us for our flaws, quirks and shortcomings.  It’s easy to feel insecure, weak and to doubt ourselves in a multitude of ways.  We feel ugly, fat, stupid.  Our complexion is nothing like the models in Vogue Magazine.  We have pimples on our cheeks and freckles on our nose.

And we dream of all the ways our lives could be better, so that someday we might be happy…

We dream of having fast cars, big houses, a successful career, lots of money, a sexy wife, smooth skin and a tight ass.  Suddenly, our dreams have replaced our happiness.  All the while we’re thinking about how much better our lives will be, someday, we fail to appreciate all that we’ve been given today.  Rather than appreciating life for the blessing it is, we critique and criticize what isn’t “perfect”.

So in our dreams we delay our happiness, telling ourselves that once we reach this milestone or that once we graduate and find the perfect job, that’s when we can finally be happy.  Maybe happiness will happen to us when we meet the man of our dreams or buy a big, beautiful house…Yes!  Then we’ll be happy!  But all these dreams we believe will someday make us happy actually won’t make us happy.  Not really…not in a way which is meaningful.

“Lies!  Of course I’ll be happy when I’m rich and driving my BMW to my amazing job where I make lots of money!!!”

Let me tell you a secret about finding happiness in material possessions; it doesn’t happen.  There will always be something more that you don’t have, can’t afford or wish you had.  An even faster car, a house on the lake and a boat to go sailing on the weekends.  Botox injections, Gucci purses, Prada shoes.  So long as you seek happiness externally, there will always be something else and thus another reason why you can’t be satisfied with your life.

Pure, authentic happiness isn’t found by buying Stuff or reaching a certain milestone.  Happiness comes naturally only once you’re able to realize that everything you could ever need, you already have.  It comes in accepting the things that are less than perfect and appreciating all that you have, right now.

That is where you will find your happiness. 

Filed under Happiness, Inspiration

In the Blink of an Eye

October 11, 2010 2 Comments

Do you care so passionately about something that you’d give up everything to chase after it?

Would you sacrifice the creature comforts of your everyday life or challenge the strength of a relationship?  Could you walk away from a stable career, even if it meant losing the assurance of a steady paycheck?  In the blink of an eye, could you turn your back on life as you now know it to risk turning it into one that dreams are made of?

Most people wouldn’t.

Not because they can’t but because it’s hard.  So many things could go wrong.  It’s far more reasonable (and safe) to stay the course with the life we’ve already created for ourselves.  Life-altering change isn’t something most of us actively seek out.  It’s one of those things that smacks us in the face when we least expect it.

Someone we love dies.  We discover that our partner has been unfaithful.  Maybe we lose our job without warning.

When these things happen, we have a decision to make; either we ignore the problems or we rise to the occasion and turn tragedy into triumph.  But why should we wait for our lives to be flipped head over heals before we become active participants in our destiny?  Why slog through yet another day ignoring our dreams and suffocating our passions.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

The Rulebook of Life doesn’t exist and you don’t need permission from anyone to live life on your own terms.  There’s no reason to spend the rest of your time here on Earth doing something that doesn’t bring you satisfaction or give your life meaning. 

It may not seem like it, but each day we have a choice to make.  Either we can put the right shoe on before the left, just as we always do, and live a repeat of yesterday or we can wake up and make magic happen.

“But I don’t really have a choice and besides, change isn’t practical.”

You do have a choice.  We all do.  The door to life isn’t locked, you just need to give it a little push and it will swing wide open.  No one else can do that for you.  And maybe change isn’t practical, but tell me, what practical person ever influenced history?  It’s the people who took risks and had big dreams that changed the world…will you be one of them?

These are your days, make the most of them.

Filed under Attitude, Goals, Inspiration, Life, Lifestyle Engineering, Motivation, Opportunity, Passion, Potential, Prioritizing

Doing Handstands

September 25, 2010 4 Comments

I love having my picture taken at iconic locations around the world but I’m getting tired of just standing there proudly with my arms in one of three positions (on my hips, crossed or by my side).  I have the same picture of myself many times over with a variety of different backgrounds.  How boring is that!?

This summer I began doing something different: handstands.

When I was in Hawaii a few months ago I wanted a “fun” picture.  The first thing that came to mind was to do a handstand.  I raised my hands above my head and threw myself forward in a desperate attempt to get my feet in the air.  I can’t tell you the last time I tried to do a handstand and the picture is evidence that I’m not very good at them!  I’ve been doing handstands ever since.

It’s become a bit of an obsession of mine, actually.  Now I think of all the places I can visit just to do a handstand in front of that landmark.  The Great Wall, the Eiffel Tower, Stonehenge, the Leaning Tower, the Pyramids, Machu Picchu, Easter Island, Taj Majal…

Where am I going with this?

Do what makes you happy.  I dream of the next place that I will get to do a handstand and that motivates me to make it happen.  Instead of imagining myself at these places, I picture myself upside down in front of them and I get excited thinking about being there.

Now I have something that drives me to visit these places.  My desire to travel is amped up tenfold just by the thought of doing something so simple as a handstand.  Angkor Wat?  Yeah, that’s cool…but doing a handstand while there?  That’s awesome!

When you find something in life that gives you meaning, chase after it with all your energy!  People might wonder what’s wrong with you (they certainly look at you weird when you’re trying to do a handstand for the fifteenth time!)  Let them wonder.  What matters is that you’re living your life, on your terms and you’re doing what makes you happy.

And so my friends, where will my upcoming adventures take me?  Into which soils will I plant my hands next?  I know…but Erin won’t let me tell you…yet!

What motivates you to accomplish your dreams?

Filed under Inspiration, Motivation, Passion, Travel

Our Fear of Change

September 4, 2010 Leave a Comment

Do you sometimes find yourself wondering how you ever ended up here?  Could you have done better?  Might things have been different, if only…the thoughts begin swirling around in your mind and soon you are second guessing the way your life has turned out. 

We all face moments of doubt; moments when we feel as though we’ve diverged from our path.  One morning we might wake up only to realize that we are in the midst of a journey we never should have been on in the first place.  In our moments of doubt we feel vulnerable; uncertain and insecure about where we are, wondering where it all might have went wrong…and it paralyzes us.

We’re afraid to change.  Not because we don’t want to change but because change is uncomfortable.  Finding the courage to make a major life-altering change is like trying to find the cojones to ask out the prettiest girl in school.  As much as you want to go on a date with her, it’s practically impossible to work up the nerve to introduce yourself (while not making a complete ass of yourself in the process).  The same is true for changing your life.  It is hard, it will be scary and you may even question your sanity at times.

Day after day we go through the motions of life.  We know something in our life isn’t right and despite our recognition that something is amiss, we shield ourselves from the truth. We try hiding behind the little lies we all tell ourselves; that things will get better, that he will change, that I’ll be promoted if only I work more hours…

We tell ourselves these things because we’re afraid to say “Screw it!”

We’re scared to quit, to cut our losses and move on to something else.  Afterall, we’ve invested so much time, money and effort into it that moving on would mean all our energy has been for naught.  So a relationship that has long ago soured lingers only because of the fond memories you once shared.  A bad investment stays in your portfolio because you can’t bear to take a loss, all the while its value continues to plummet.  And that degree in computer science that promised riches…well, rich you may be but happy you are not.

We must overcome the fears that strangle our dreams.  It’s time to be honest with yourself, say “Screw it!” and move forward.  Things change, people change, values change, beliefs change.  Life is dynamic.  Embrace change with an open heart.  The time, energy and money are all gone.  You will never be able to get them back.  So ask yourself, is it really worth it to invest more into this or are you just beating a dead horse?

We’ve all heard the stories of people who find themselves on the verge of death only to come back a changed person.  They quit their jobs, divorce their husband and chase after their passions.  These people aren’t crazy.  They get it!  They understand that this life is all they are ever promised and even a moment of dissatisfaction is a moment too many.  Don’t go another day questioning your life.  Change it!  You might not be so lucky as to have a second chance to get things right.

Find your happiness.

Filed under Attitude, Inspiration, Prioritizing

Just Do It: Five Steps to Create the Life of Your Dreams

August 14, 2010 4 Comments

Now that I’ve moved away from my hometown, I use Facebook to keep my friends and family up to date on what I’m doing.  Whenever I travel somewhere or do something exciting (like skydiving or rock climbing) I post pictures of my adventures on my profile.  Almost every time I post a new photo album, someone leaves a comment about how they wish they could do the things that I do, claiming they don’t have the time, the money or that their responsibilities as a parent or employee hold them back.

They’re wrong! And if you think you don’t have the time or money, or that your obligations are limiting your opportunities, you’re wrong, too!  The only thing preventing anyone, including you, from doing anything is the willingness to make it happen; to Just DO It! The doors are open and opportunity awaits anyone willing to reach out and grab it.  There are no gatekeepers preventing you from living the life of your dreams. You don’t have to ask anyone for permission.  The world is your oyster!

How!? How can you begin living the life of your dreams…RIGHT NOW?

Make a Choice: What do you want out of life?  Do you dream of hiking the Appalachian Trail or living in a foreign country?  Whatever your desires, if you ever hope to see them through to fruition you must make them your priority.  If you want to travel, choose to make it a priority.  Want to become a writer?  Choose to make it a priority.  Inside each of us there is an “on” switch that we must flip.  Make a choice, flip that switch, commit to your goal and pursue it ruthlessly, without hesitation or apologies.

Stop Dreaming: Dreams bring inspiration but dreams and inspiration will only get you so far.  If you ever want to accomplish anything, you must move beyond the visions in your head.  Dreaming, hoping and wishing don’t produce results.  Burgess Meredith in Grumpier Old Men said it best:

You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which gets filled first.

Stop Making Excuses: There’s an excuse for everything and guess what, all of those excuses suck.  An excuse is just a way of justifying inaction due to fear.  It’s easy to say “I can’t” if you can blame it on some externality that you “aren’t able” to control.  It’s not easy to admit that you’re afraid of stepping outside of your comfort zone.  It’s so much easier to blame your situation on money, time or the kids.  And since those excuses are so universally accepted in our culture, no one is going to call you out on any of them.  No one, that is, except me.  All of your excuses are bullshit. You know it and I know it.  Stop making excuses, you won’t live forever.  These guys aren’t making excuses.

Prepare: Want to quit your job?  Sit down, take an honest assessment of your financial situation and create a plan to shore up any weaknesses you find.  Create a budget, eliminate all extraneous expenses, get out of debt, build your savings.  Prepare yourself in real ways that will help you to succeed.  No matter how much you hate your job, hate alone isn’t going to set you up for success.  Do something positive each day with that emotional energy, then smile as you walk through the door because you know that you are one day closer to walking away for good.

Take Action: Preparation leads you in the right direction but, like dreams, can only take you so far.  Once you reach a point where all the preparations have been made, it is time to take action.  Action creates change.  Change brings about opportunity.  Don’t count on luck to bring you the life of your dreams.  “Luck” is just opportunity presenting itself to those people who are prepared to act upon it.  You can create your own luck by taking action towards accomplishing your goals.  Want to become an artist?  Paint.  Want to learn a foreign language?  Take a class.  Want to travel the world?  Buy a plane ticket.  Action is the only thing that separates dreaming from reality.

Creating the life of your dreams isn’t difficult, it just requires dedication, determination and a willingness to step outside of your comfort zone to take calculated risks.  Success isn’t guaranteed, but failure only comes to those who quit. Turn your dreams into reality, make the choice to make it happen.  Give up the excuses and prepare for success.  Create a new reality; the reality of your dreams.

Filed under Attitude, Freedom, Goals, Inspiration, Life, Motivation, Opportunity, Passion, Potential, Preparation, Prioritizing, Success

To Hell With the Path of Least Resistence

June 11, 2010 2 Comments

Turning dreams into reality is a formidable task.

Seeing your dreams through to fruition requires dedication, hard work and sacrifice.  In the pursuit of your goals you will find yourself faced with self-doubt, frustration & fear.  So many people who were once filled with ambition never reach their goals and find themselves wondering what could have been, “If only…”  Success doesn’t come easy and you can’t place yourself on the path of least resistence if you expect to have an extraordinary life, the life you’ve always dreamt of.

Being successful at accomplishing your goals means creating your own path and taking risks.  During your journey to success you will have moments where you find yourself full of fear; fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown, fear of other’s opinions.  When you stumble, self-doubt will invade every crevice of your consciousness and you will second guess your ability to create your desired reality.  Failures will bring frustration and you will become your own defeatist.  You will tell yourself that no one will care if you quit.  Maybe no one will care whether you give up on a dream or not but your dream or goal isn’t for someone else, it is for you.  As much as you try to convince yourself that a goal isn’t important, it is important…to you.

By taking the path of least resistence you will continually find yourself firmly planted in a life of mediocrity.  Sure, there will be moments of success and there will be happiness, satisfaction and joy in your life but there will also be a lingering feeling of failure knowing that you gave up on your dream.

Following a dream means making sacrifices which may lead to insecurity in the face of popular culture and trends.  Society expects us to fit in and follow the well-worn path of life; birth, education, work, marriage, children, retirement, death.  Many people never stop to question this step-by-step approach to life and those who waiver from the path have been labeled by the masses as idealistic or naïve.  A typical life may bring fulfillment to the mass of men and many will find success and happiness within these confines.

It may work for some, but does it work for you?

Filed under Goals, Inspiration, Motivation, Potential

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