Guest Post: The Toughest Job Ever

Today’s article is the second in a two-part series regarding children and parenting. Today’s article is written by Diana Krygowski Logan, mother of two adult children and many four-legged children.  Diana is a partially retired ICU nurse who spends most of her time taking care of an elderly father with end-stage dementia.  She is patiently awaiting grandchildren.

Anyone who chooses to become a parent agrees to undertake an incredible challenge.

You help hold the balance of the world in your hands.  Will it be a better place because of the person you’ve created or will it be pulled a little further down into darkness?  This challenge is borne with your child and stays with you throughout your life.  The toughest part is that children don’t come with instructions.  You learn the rules as you go.

Mostly we parent the way our parents raised us.  I’ve always had a deep respect for people who were reared by bad parents but were able to break the cycle and excel in parenting.  That’s a tough row to hoe.  I consider myself blessed to have had parents who set a good example.  They taught my sisters and I the difference between right and wrong, family values, respect for authority, a good work ethic and a sense of community.

I also respect those who’ve decided they aren’t cut out as parents because it’s not a job for the weak.  It’s difficult to be a parent….the toughest job ever.

When a person becomes a parent, there’s a shift in perspective.  If there isn’t then you’re not doing it right.  Holding a new soul made of your flesh and blood, so innocent, so dependent on you for everything, it’s easy to see that there’s something more important than your own life.  It’s the life you’ve created.  As a parent, I believe your children should become your first priority in life.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, should come before your children.  Not a job or another person, not a habit…nothing.

You’d do anything to make their world perfect but you can’t always protect them.  Sadness comes along the same path as joy, as life is full of choices and risks.  There are times when life’s lessons can only be learned through experience.  A parent needs to judge which of those lessons our children must learn on their own and which should be taught through consequences that we as parents impose upon them.  Our life experiences make us who we are and making mistakes helps children learn.  Parents must guide their children and create a balance between allowing them to make mistakes for themselves and keeping them out of harm’s way.

When it’s time for them to go out into the world on their own, stepping back and letting them lead their own life is difficult. You do the best you can while they’re growing up, trying to give them the freedom they need to become their own person while also being there to help them along as needed.  Letting go too soon or hanging on for too long only impedes their growth.  The goal is to raise a well-adjusted, happy person who is able to find their own way in the world and make it a better place.

People can say “Oh, it’s a miracle,” but until you hold your own child it just sounds like another cliché.  It really is a miracle.  When I held my first child for the very first time, I didn’t feel different being a mother but with every breath, my sense of motherhood grew.  My children were the center of my universe.

When you leave this life, your sign of success is not by what you gathered but rather by what you scattered.  I’ve been lucky. I have two great children who are now young adults and I am proud of both of them.

A Note from Steven: I want to thank Diana for writing today’s article and giving those of us without children a peak into the life of someone who does.  I asked Diana to write today’s article because of a comment she left on the Hundred Goals’ Facebook page about parenting and what it means for her to be a mother.  Quoted from that conversation:

“…teaching your children to follow their dreams is a wonderful example to set.  I’ve never felt like my children hindered me in any way.  They actually inspired me to further my education and broaden my horizons because I wanted to be a good example.  My children gave me purpose because I became dedicated to one single goal in my life: to be the best mother I could be.”

To the readers, I hope you’ve found this series to be interesting and balanced.  It’s a difficult topic to discuss as passions and emotions tend to dominate the conversation.  If nothing else, I hope these articles have given a glimpse into the minds of people on the “other side” of this issue.