The Biggest Waste of Time That Can Change Your Life

February 20, 2010 5 Comments

Creating a list of one hundred goals is a monumental task.  Before reaching the one hundred mark, completing the list often becomes a goal of its own.  I didn’t finish my own list in a day or even a week but, in time, the list reached 100 goals and it continues to grow.  Today I  added my 123rd goal, “Learn how to Moon Walk like Michael Jackson”.

Writing a list of goals might seem like a big waste of time and, for some people, it might be.  Some people will write a list of goals and forget about them only moments later.  It is understandable.  We have “real lives” and chasing after a list of goals doesn’t fit into our routine.  There is dinner to be made, bills to be paid and obligations to fulfill.  That goal of taking a vacation with your mother isn’t really a priority.  That goal of becoming a doctor just isn’t practical when you have to work  two jobs just to make ends meet.

It is exactly that attitude, those who believe possibility doesn’t exist, that renders such a list meaningless.  A waste of time.  Not until this perspective is altered can a person maximize the value of such a list.  The reality isn’t that the list is a waste of time, it is your attitude that makes it a waste of time.  Without belief in yourself and in your abilities, a list changes absolutely nothing in your life.  If you don’t believe you can change, you won’t.  You will become a product of circumstance in your own life.  You forfeit control.

Those who dream and believe will find that creating a list of one hundred goals is exactly the catalyst they need to change their lives for the better.  Cynics may not believe that accomplishing a goal like skydiving or bungee jumping can change someone’s life.  I would argue otherwise.  Pursuing goals requires a person to stand up and take a proactive position in their own life.  They create opportunity and pursue their passions.  They conquer fear and overcome personal weakness.  No longer is their life a consequence of their surroundings but instead, a result of their efforts.

Those who dream and believe will do what it takes to make their dreams a reality.  They will do what it takes to change the aspects of their lives that they are not happy with and will begin living aggressively in pursuit of their desires and ambitions.

Creating your own list of one hundred goals might just be the biggest waste of time that can change your life…forever.

Filed under Attitude, Goals, Motivation

Your Struggles Give You Character

December 19, 2009 2 Comments

A goal isn’t a goal if it is easy to accomplish.  A goal is something that you have to work at.  A goal means challenging yourself, facing a fear, overcoming disadvantage, taking charge, living proactively instead of reactively.  Goals require hard work and perseverance.  At times, you will falter.  You will struggle.  You may fail.  Through it all, it isn’t the accomplishment that is important but that you pushed yourself through the challenges in order to succeed.

It is easy to stand on the sideline and watch the world move around you while you wish away your life.  I know, I’ve done it.  A large portion of my teenage years were spent smoking pot, listening to rock n’ roll and sleeping.  While none of these things individually are the reason why I was unmotivated to be successful, they were my escape from reality.  It was my way of ignoring the fact that I was failing to live up to my potential.  I was insecure, I doubted my ability, I was afraid.  Worst of all, I was comfortable.  I had become complacent and accepted my mediocre existence.

It took a long time for me to realize that life has so many opportunities to offer and that I was missing out.  Getting thrown in jail really helped me to understand the path that my life was taking.  In many ways, sitting in a jail cell with no one to talk to, coming down from my high, was the best moment in my life.  I knew that I needed to change my life.

Just like people struggle to lose weight or struggle to finish running a marthon, I struggled to get away from drugs.  I lost all of my friends and it was hard to change my lifestyle.  I fell back into drugs a couple of times before finally walking away from it for good but the struggle was worth the effort.  I am able to reflect back on that moment of my life and appreciate the lessons I have learned.

It is easy to be discouraged when things don’t work out as we had planned or if results are not as immediate as we would like.  We forget that success isn’t something that happens overnight.  When we think about climbing a mountain, we envision ourselves standing at the summit, casting our gaze towards the distant horizon but forget about the six hour hike to the top.

Success comes to those who are willing to persist during moments of struggle and pain.  Our struggles and perseverance are what set us apart.  Those who stick it out will see the rewards of their efforts and those who don’t, won’t.  It is your struggles that give you character.  Your struggles make you who you are today.

Filed under Attitude, Determination, Goals, Motivation, Success

Ten Commandments of Goals & Money

November 28, 2009 2 Comments

"Ten" by koDesign @ Flickr

“Accomplish Your Goals While Managing Your Finances.”

At times, the two seem to be at odds with one another.  How can a person manage their finances when goals are oftentimes lofty dreams of indulgence?  A waver in one direction has an immediate impact upon the other.  The secret to is to find balance.

For the past year I have been toeing this line in my own life.  I have managed to pay off the last of my credit card debt and paid my car loan off more than a year early.  At the same time I spent a month traveling North America, spent a night under the stars of a clear California sky and climbed Mount Saint Helens.  This experience has brought me to some conclusions.  I’ve singled out the ten most important things to consider when you begin your journey towards accomplishing your own life goals.

The Ten Commandments of Goals & Money:

1) Know Thyself: Any successful journey in life requires some degree of foresight and planning.  Your future is no different.  Take time to consider what your values are and where your passions lie.  Create a list of goals and search for a common theme.  Use this as a compass to help orient yourself in the direction you want your life to take.

2) Happiness Is NOT “Out There”: Our focus frequently rests upon what we do not have or those things that are not ideal in our lives.  We set goals as a way to better our lives, not realizing that our focus on improvement is the reason we are dissatisfied with our lives today.  We trick ourselves into believing that happiness can be found in a pay raise or that a boob job will make us beautiful.  This isn’t the truth.  Happiness cannot be found “out there”, it comes from within.

3) Follow Your Heart: Too often we ignore what is in our hearts, opting instead to think with our head.  While our brains have great capacity for extraordinary intellectual achievement, sometimes they hinder our spirit.  Listen to your heart.

4) Money IS Important: Money does not equal happiness but money is important.  Without it, our focus would change from accomplishing goals to struggling to survive.  It is important to be fiscally responsible and to find a balance between today and tomorrow.  Seek harmony in your finances.

5) Know Your Priorities & Align Your Actions: There is a difference between saying and doing.  It is easy to say you value something.  It is not so easy to express your values through action.  It is crucial that we align our values with our actions if we hope to live a life which is in harmony with our priorities.  In doing so we are able to live guilt free, knowing that we are doing what we believe is the right thing.  At the end of the day we can rest our head upon our pillow with a clear conscious.

6) Modify Your Internal Dialogue: We are too hard on ourselves.  Instead of building ourselves up, we break ourselves down.  We focus on our flaws, the things that we need to improve upon.  We ignore our talents, our individuality.  Learn to love your imperfections, they are what make you unique.

7) Debt is Slavery: We may not be pulling a plow across the earth like our ancestors but we are no less of a slave to our debts, however, we are our own masters.  Whenever you feel it is time to break free from the binding chains of debt, you are in control to make that decision.  The more debt you accumulate and each dollar you waste is another day of slavery.  It doesn’t need to be that way…break free.

8) Stop Making Excuses: If you think about something long enough or hard enough, you can be certain that you will always find a reason not to do something.  Making excuses is not productive.  Stop.

9) The First Step is Always the Most Difficult: The hardest thing about going for a jog is putting on the shoes.  After that, things tend to fall into place.  The same can be said for most aspects of life.  Overcoming inertia is difficult and may require a leap of faith, a request for assistance or admitting you don’t have all of the answers.  This simple act may be the catalyst to major change in your life.

10) Knowledge is Power: The other day I was reading a blog post and read the following:

Uncertainty is caused by a lack of knowledge.  Hesitation is the product of fear.

This simple thought struck a chord and as I thought more about it, Fear controls so many aspects of our day-to-day lives.  We hesitate out of fear and fear what is unknown.  By educating ourselves we remove the unknown variables.  We eliminate the uncertainty.  The more we know, the more confident we become as an individual.  Knowledge is power.

Filed under Budgeting, Confidence, Debt, Education, Goals, Life, Motivation, Opportunity, Passion, Potential, Preparation, Prioritizing, Savings, Spending, Success

What is Your Master Plan?

November 21, 2009 Leave a comment

"Sail boat" by Nuno Vasco Rodrigues @ Flickr

Without goals, our lives are like a ship without sails.  The winds of potential blow strong against our mast but with no sail to capture the energy we are left stationary, floating quietly with no command over the direction the waves push us.

Having goals allows us to hoist our sails high into the air and in an instant we are skipping across the surface of the water.  Our sails are filled with energy from the wind and our eyes are focused on the sliver of land that has just peaked out from the ocean blue.  Our destination comes into focus and as we arrive upon the shore we have learned a powerful lesson; if we create goals and harness our ambition & passion, we will realize our dreams.

If we are ships upon the sea with no focus or direction, what can we do to raise our sails and capture the wind?

Something I don’t spend much time discussing is the power of long-term goals.  My list of 100 Goals consists mostly of milestone accomplishments, things that once accomplished can be crossed off the list.  Crossing a goal off the list is a moment of satisfaction; knowing that I’ve done something great and meaningful in my life but once that goal is crossed off, it is done.  The moment has passed & I am looking forward to the next milestone that I can work towards accomplishing.

While I wouldn’t change any of the experiences I’ve had in using this method to accomplish my goals, the question that begs to be answered is this: “What happens when I have accomplished everything I want to do in my life?  What will I be left with?”

The answer is to have a Master Plan; a series of successive goals that will ultimately lead to what we envision our Perfect Life to be.  A Master Plan requires knowing where you want your life to be and figuring out a way to get there from where you are today.   It requires you to be proactive and take intentional steps in order to make your plan a reality.  It requires discipline, determination and flexibility.

Creating Your Master Plan

Too often we find ourselves ignoring our dreams of a Perfect Life because we tell ourselves that they are not grounded in reality.  Before we allow our desires to blossom into anything more than a passing thought, we stifle ourselves.  We are blocking our own success and happiness.  There will always be a reason why we “can’t” do something and now it is time to ignore those excuses and begin to create your Master Plan.

Close your eyes and envision your Perfect Life.  What do you see?  Are you working with panda bears in a sanctuary?  Are you backpacking the Appalachian Trail?  Maybe you are relaxing in your backyard drinking lemonade watching your children playing on the swing set.  No matter what you see, you have found your destination.  Now it is time to figure out how you will get there.

Usually at this point you would push your dreams aside with thoughts of “reality”, all the reasons why you are unable to pursue your dreams.  I want you to consider all of these excuses about why you can’t follow your dream but I need you to change your perspective.  Instead of using them as reasons why you can’t follow your dream, think of them as challenges to beat.  Don’t use them as an excuse any longer.  Use them as motivation.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed, find a way to overcome these challenges.  Your plan should be ambitious yet realistic.

The next phase in accomplishing your Master Plan is to figure out what steps you must take in order to position yourself to make your dream possible.  Will your Perfect Life require a career change?  Do you need to further your education? If your Perfect Life requires you to get a degree or certificate, enroll in classes, even if that means taking one class a semester for the time being.  If you need to change your career, start submitting resumes and begin networking with people who are in the field that you want to break into.  Prepare to Quit Your Job.

Ultimately, your Master Plan is about having a long-term goal to pursue while using short-term goals as a means for making progress towards your Perfect Life.  A Master Plan is not something that happens overnight.  My own Master Plan has been in the works for nearly 5 years, and I am only now really beginning to fully understand what it is that I want in my own life.  Progress is slow but steady and each day is a new opportunity.  Today is your opportunity to make a change in your life, an opportunity to start working towards your Perfect Life.  No more excuses, no more hesitation.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  You decide what that means for you.

Filed under Behavior, Career, Education, Employment, Goals, Motivation, Passion, Potential, Preparation, Success

Hundred Goal’s Challenge: 100 in 25

October 16, 2009 3 Comments

"Running #2" by lumilon @ Flickr

Motivating myself to exercise has been a huge challenge.

My motivation to exercise tends to come in waves of pure determination followed by long periods of lethargy.  Much of my summer was spent pushing my physical abilities in a multitude of ways from climbing Mount Saint Helens, Angel’s Landing and Half Dome to going on 70 mile bike rides to exercising so hard on the elliptical machine that the sweat would pool beneath me on the gym floor.  Then, like a flip of a switch, I fell into a routine of sloth.  I seem to be incapable of settling into a routine somewhere between these two extremes.

For a while I am unaffected by my laziness but soon I am feeling guilty for not exercising.  I get angry and then disgusted in myself.  When I begin to feel this way, the switch flips again and I find myself at the other extreme where I push myself as hard as my physical limits will allow.

I suspect that I am not alone in my battle to find middle ground in my life.  While I am currently struggling to find balance in an exercise routine, I have struggled in the past with finding balance in my finances and other aspects of my personal life.  We all have areas in life where finding balance would benefit each of us.  Where is your life out of balance?

In order to get myself back into the routine of exercising I’ve decided to create a challenge for myself.  The challenge is 100 in 25, in other words, 100 push ups (at once) within 25 days.  In order to accomplish this I will start out by doing 4 push ups and increasing it daily by an increment of 4.  By the 25th day I will be up to 100 push ups.  At least that is the plan.  This gives me a deadline to work against and a definite goal to work towards.  Whether or not this will lead to further exercise is obviously unknown at this point but what I do know is that I am not making any progress thinking about going for a run or thinking about doing 100 push ups.

While this challenge is a challenge towards myself, I encourage you to join me.  Maybe doing 100 push ups isn’t your goal.  Maybe your goal is to pay off the remaining balance on your credit card.  Maybe your goal is to run 10 miles without stopping.  Maybe your goal is to repair your relationship with your spouse or children.  Whatever your goal, define what you want to accomplish (make it challenging!  100 push ups isn’t a walk in the park) and stick with it for 25 days.  At the end of those 25 days, if you have worked towards your goal everyday I can assure you that even if you didn’t accomplish your goal, you’ve at least made notable progress towards success.

Join me on the Hundred Goals Message Board to share your goals and discuss your progress & challenges during the next 25 days!

Filed under Challenges, Exercising, Motivation

Punch Life in the Face

September 25, 2009 8 Comments

Punch Life in the Face

When the going gets tough, the tough get…no, that’s not reality.  In reality, when things get hard people quit.  They give up.  Instead of breaking a sweat, shedding a tear or losing a little blood they take the easy route and do nothing.  It is easier to accept defeat & tell yourself that it is too hard, that you aren’t smart enough, you aren’t pretty enough, strong enough.  For every inaction we find an excuse that will suit our situation.  Hell, we may even convince ourselves.

It is time to stop making excuses.  It is time to quit being a quitter.  It is time to get off your ass and do something with your life.  Yes, you might struggle.  You might feel pain.  You may even cry but if you don’t do something with your life why are you even here?  It is time to start living.  It is time to stand up and punch life in the face.

Too often we accept our lives the way they are, even if we aren’t happy with them.  We are miserable at work, our relationship with our spouse sucks, our kids hate us, we waste our time doing absolutely nothing.  Our joy in life is derived from a bottle; we can’t even relax without a glass of wine to settle ourselves.  This is our life and it sucks.

When I was 16 years old I was a loser.  My life was consumed with drugs and alcohol.  If I wasn’t high or drunk I was in the process of getting there.  Two days after I turned 18 I was arrested.  I had just gotten high a few minutes before being handcuffed & taken to jail.  I spent that night in my cell thinking about where my life had gone wrong & how I was going to change it.

I realized that I was fucking up my life.  It wasn’t only the drugs & alcohol that were the problem.  I was wasting my time.  I couldn’t turn the clock back and recapture those years.  They were gone & there was no getting them back.

In order to change my life I had to turn my back on everything & everyone.  This was hard for me.  It meant losing friends.  It meant making major changes in my life.  I had created a lifestyle for myself & people expected me to be that person.  For a while I struggled to get sober.  I didn’t want to disappoint my friends when they wanted to get high with me.  Eventually I came to realize that I needed to change my life for me and not live my life as a consequence of other people.

Once I figured this out I made the changes I needed.  I quit drinking & doing drugs entirely.  I have been clean for almost 9 years.

What does all of this have to do with you?  Maybe you don’t drink or get high but I have no doubt that you are wasting your life with things that are just as stupid; video games, television, Internet, gambling, celebrities, work…anything that takes time away from the person you want to become deep down inside.

It is so much easier to do nothing than to do something.  If I hadn’t been arrested & had the time to sober up and reflect on where my life had come and where I was going maybe I wouldn’t have changed.  I wouldn’t have traveled around the country & now the world.  I would probably still be sitting in my bedroom taking hits from my bong and eating Milk Duds watching the world move around me.

Get off your ass and grab life by the balls.  Do something that you’ve always wanted to do but have told yourself you “couldn’t” for whatever reason.  Stop lying to yourself.  Life will go on with or without you.  Just remember that you can never make up for lost time.  Never.

Filed under Attitude, Behavior, Life, Motivation, Potential, Prioritizing

What to do When You Lose Motivation

August 6, 2009 Leave a comment

No matter how passionate we are about something, there are times when we lose our motivation.  Maybe it seems as if you will never be able to complete the goal because it feels too far away or hard to accomplish.  Maybe you’ve tried and failed multiple times and it doesn’t make sense to try anymore.  When we lose our motivation we feel frustrated, irritated, sad and angry.  With our lost motivation our chances of success diminish; we give up.

What can we do when we reach a point when the goal no longer seems worth the effort?  How can we reclaim our motivation and push through even stronger than before?

Here are some tips on getting the passion back that have worked for me.

Take a break, allow your mind & body to recharge.  When we are focusing all of our energy towards a single task we may find ourselves burning out quickly.  It is important that we take time to enjoy other aspects of life.  The break can be short or long depending on the situation.  Maybe you just need to get out of the house and clear your mind.  Take a walk and focus your mind on releasing all of the stress and frustration that has built up inside.  Then think about what you are working on.  Consider it from a variety of angles.

If a walk won’t do the trick, try something more active and forget about your goal entirely for a while.  Play basketball or go for a jog.  Burn off all of your frustrations.  Exercise helps stimulate your creativity.  Try it!

Maybe removing yourself from the situation is what you need.  Take a vacation, and don’t bring your work with you.  Disconnect.  Shut off your brain and open your mind to the world around you.  Reconnect with nature and your family & friends.  Once you return you will feel revitalized.  Use that energy to your advantage and push forward.

Revisit the reason why you are pursuing the goal.  Sometimes in the pursuit of our goals we lose sight of the reason we began chasing them in the first place.  This is especially true of long-term goals that require lots of time, energy and sacrifice.  An example might be getting out of debt.  This takes a long time and the sacrifices are real.  There are times when you want to splurge to treat yourself but you know it will only undue all of your efforts.  Try to remember what it is that you want by accomplishing your goal.  Is it freedom?  Is it to break the chains of debt?  Do you want to be able to start your own business so that you can be your own boss?  Maybe you want more time with your family.  Whatever your reason, reflect back to the original reason for beginning to remind yourself why.

Share your goals with people who will offer encouragement.  There are two kinds of people in our lives; those who offer encouragement and those who don’t.  Try to surround yourself with people who will support your efforts and who may even be willing to go along on the journey with you.  Having someone to support you will help alleviate your fears and doubts.  There have been numerous times that had I not had a friend there with me, I probably wouldn’t have pushed myself to follow through on my goals because of fear or doubt.

Not only should you rely on your friends to help you, be sure that you help them as well.  I will be leaving this weekend to travel to California with Noah so that he can accomplish his goal of climbing Half Dome in Yosemite National Park.  No doubt this is something he could do on his own without my help, but it just makes the journey more enjoyable having someone along to share your success.  Not to mention that it will also be a fun trip for me.

Find ways to give yourself quick wins.  A great way of gaining motivation is to find ways to allow yourself quick wins.  If you are paying down debt, pay the smallest first.  Each win is a step closer to the end.  The more quick wins you have, the more motivated you will be to continue pursuing your goals.

Use visual reminders to remember your goals.  A Post-It note or a photo are great ways for you to remember your goals.  Place your reminders in conspicuous locations where you will see them often.  When I was saving money for my trip to Aruba I bought a cheap calendar with tropical beach scenes which I placed at my workstation.  It served a dual purpose, I was reminded of my savings goal and not to waste my money on frivolous things and also to motivate myself to make it through another day of tedious work.  It was sort of like leading a donkey with a carrot, but it worked.

There are a number of ways in which you can motivate yourself when you are feeling down.  These are only a few of the tricks which I have used that have worked for me in the past.  Please feel free to share your own ideas of ways that you motivate yourself!

Filed under Motivation

Don’t Waste Your Life Dreaming

July 24, 2009 1 Comment

"winter's coming." by *whimsical @ FlickrThis website is devoted to following your dreams, chasing after your ambitions, and changing your life for the better.  The content of my articles is intended to inspire people, to help them focus inward on their desires, to reflect on where their path has led them & where they want to go from here.  Inspiration & introspection are only a fraction of what it takes to actually accomplish your goals.  It is not enough to be inspired.  It is not enough to admit your mistakes.  It is not enough to dream about a better life.

None of this will bring you any closer to accomplishing anything.  Yes, inspiration and dreaming are powerful motivators but they change nothing if you never push beyond them.  You can’t just dream about being successful.  It isn’t enough to daydream about laying on the beach in the south of Spain.  You cannot wish your body into becoming slim & fit.  Dreams require action in order to become reality.

One of my goals is to run a marathon.  I have never ran more than a few miles at one time in my entire life.  I have ran a mile or two once in a while but could I possibly complete a 26-mile marathon?  In my mind I feel anyone has the ability to do anything, it just takes dedication & a willingness to work towards that goal.  It is much easier to sit on my couch in front of the television & watch people run than it is for me to find the desire to pick myself up and go for a run.  The sweat and pain that comes with pushing our physical limitations can be unpleasant but I find my motivation in knowing that if I am willing to endure, someday I will run in a marathon & I will finish.

My friend Noah has been training for an upcoming mini-marathon for a little over a month.  In this time he has gone from being unable to run more than a mile to running more than 10 miles.  That is impressive!  It shows exactly how much a person can accomplish if they are motivated & willing to harness that energy.  I joined him today & ran further than I ever have before, six miles.  It isn’t marathon distance, but it is a beginning.  Even after running all of that distance, at the very end we both pushed ourselves to finish the last 100 yards in a sprint.  We were both sweating & exhausted but it was worth the effort.  I was filled with a sense of pride for having pushed myself to finish.

I know that without his encouragement I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed early to go for a run.  Hearing him talk about how much he has improved over the course of a month has made me realize that it takes effort, lots of it, to become a better person.  Whether you are training for a marathon or trying to get out of debt, it takes effort.  You have to make sacrifices at first.  You might feel like giving up, but as you wipe the sweat from your brow & look at how far you’ve come since the beginning, you dig deep within yourself to find the energy to push as hard as you can to the finish line.

Effort is what separates those who dream from those who are living a dream.  A dream is nothing more than a dream if you don’t chase after it.  A goal means nothing if you don’t strive to accomplish it.  Dream your dream, find your inspiration & make it a reality.

Filed under Goals, Hope, Motivation, Potential, Success

Walk the Walk

June 24, 2009 Leave a comment

"355/365 # Verbal burble" by Daz* @ Flickr

I would like to share a portion of an email which I received recently from a reader.  It struck me as being very straightforward about just exactly what it takes to accomplish your goals in life.

By the way, thanks again for getting me started on these goals.  I never thought it would be as easy as just doing them, but it is.

Is it really that simple?  It reminds me of the old, worn out saying of “You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?”  In my own experiences I have been a great talker yet have been able to stick true to much of what comes out of my mouth.  With few exceptions, if I say something you can expect it to be done.

There are times, however, when self-doubt reaches up from inside of us and does everything in its power to stifle our ambitions.  I recently had to overcome my own fears of climbing Mount Saint Helens.  First I didn’t think I would be welcomed by a group of veteran climbers who (I thought) would have a rotten attitude towards novice climbers.

Not only did I concern myself with how I would be treated by these people, but also how they would look at me if I didn’t have the “right” gear.  I don’t have much in the way of mountaineering equipment but I had basically everything I would need in order to summit & make my descent.  This didn’t stop me from making a visit to the sporting goods store to buy a jacket that would fit in with the crowd a little better.

Fitting in wasn’t the only thing on my mind.  I was also concerned with safety even though I knew I wasn’t getting myself into a dangerous situation, I still felt that I “needed” all sorts of technical gear such as crampons, an ice axe, a GPS and rain gear.  Having these things would have made me feel much better about my ascent, but in the end I decided against any of these items and they simply were not necessary.

Another thing on my mind was the weather.  Since I don’t have much of the proper gear, I was concerned with the weather being a problem.  I told myself that if the weather was even the least bit miserable that I would abandon my hopes & dreams of climbing the mountain.  The weather turned out to be the best day in a week and I was no longer able to use this as an excuse not to climb.

The point here is even those who have a record of standing by their word have moments of doubt, where it is easier to make an excuse not to do something in the face of fear.  As much as I wanted to stand at the top of Mount Saint Helens, there was a fear of not having the ability to actually make it to the top.  It would have been more convenient for me to say “Oh, the weather was bad” or “I didn’t have the proper gear” than to face the fact that I just didn’t have it in me to make it up.

Fortunately I set those fears aside and just did it.  And that is what is important; doing it.  Not saying you are going to do something, not even convincing yourself in your own mind that someday you will do it, but actually getting off the couch and taking the first steps.  Fighting inertia is hard but once you are moving forward, the same force that kept you in place will now help keep moving you ahead.

Filed under Attitude, Goals, Motivation

Guest Post: Earning a Black Belt

May 2, 2009 1 Comment

One of my goals is to earn a Black Belt in Karate.  My experience in the martial arts is limited so instead of trying to write about something I don’t know much about, I decided to call upon the knowledge of someone who has accomplished exactly what I hope to one day succeed in accomplishing myself.  Today’s post is a guest post from Brad Linford, and this is his story: 

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"Karate Moleskin" by MikeOliveri @ FlickrI just earned my Black Belt in Shaolin Kempo Karate last month, almost 3 years to the day after my first lesson. On the first day I was one of about 9 people in the class. Only one of them stuck it out with me the entire 3 years to earn himself a black belt as well. Everyone else quit coming for various reasons. They were all replaced by other people who stuck it out for a while but then quit as well. I don’t know exactly how many people came and left, but my guess is somewhere between 50 and 100. Why the high turnover? Why did only 2 people of 100 stick it out long enough to earn Karate’s ultimate honor? Because it’s hard, that’s why. Like anything worth achieving, reaching the rank of Black Belt is something that must be earned through toughness, hard work, and perseverance.

So why was I different? I’m sure there are innumerable answers to that question, but the one most relevant is probably this- I wanted it more. I took my first lesson with one goal in mind: Black Belt. I never considered it an option to quit before my goal was achieved. I’m probably not the only one who had a goal in mind when I started, but I would guess that a majority of those who had a goal and didn’t make it, never really thought it through. Did they realize there would be tough times, or did they think it would be easy? Did they expect to breeze through, or did they realize it could take a few years? Were they willing to do the hard work, or did they think that going through the motions would suffice? In fairness, a lot them had to stop because of circumstances beyond their control like money, a job, or family issues. Some people moved away, and some were injured badly enough to end their journey. I’m going to focus on my journey, and how goal setting helped make the difference for me.

First, like I said, I had an ultimate goal. The end goal is important, because without it I would have quit long before earning the belt. I had a mental picture of where I wanted to be, and I decided right away that I was going to get there. It’s been said that not having a goal is like floating down river without a paddle. This is true, in that you are at the river’s mercy. If the current drives you ashore, and you don’t have a destination in mind, you’re likely to get out of the boat and be done. We need to know where we’re going, otherwise how will we know once we get there?

If knowing the destination is important then knowing the route is just as important. In the analogy of the river we now have paddles and an endgame in mind, but achieving something great and worthwhile can be intimidating, especially at first when we have so far to go. How do we make large goals more manageable? Incremental goals.  Incremental goals are the most underestimated aspect of any type of goal setting. I won a taco eating contest once by eating 15 tacos in one sitting. After about 4 or 5 tacos I was full and didn’t want to eat anymore, but there was that contest to win, so I set a goal; one more. When I finished one more taco the new goal became one more bite. Eventually one more bite became taco number 15, and I won the contest. Had I not broken the goal down to small increments I would never have done it. In karate the incremental goals are already laid out for you in the form of all the different colors of belts on the way to black. The next goal is always to reach the next belt.

Incremental goals can be broken down even further. This is where it gets fun. Achieving a goal always makes us feel good, and motivates us to continue, so the more small goals on the way to the big goal, the more fun and successful  the journey becomes. In the taco eating contest the goal of eating another taco was broken down into the goal of taking one more bite. In karate it was learning the next technique, or the next form. Breaking it down even further it was just showing up to class. I never had a goal to make it to every class, but after each class I completed the most important goal was just to make it to the following class. I had 4 classes a week. Multiply that by 52 weeks a year and again by 3 for the 3 years it took, and I had 624 opportunities to achieve a tiny goal, each one taking me closer to the big one.

One of the biggest challenges to lasting long enough to reach Black Belt is discouragement. Starting something new can be intimidating, especially when surrounded by people who have been at it for a while. It’s easy to fall into the trap of discouragement. You see that the people with experience are very good, and doubt sets in, “I’ll never be as good as that guy” you tell yourself. You wonder why you should even bother. Even worse is when you’ve been at it for a year or two, and you’re still not the best. Now it’s not that the guys ahead of you are better, but it’s the ones behind you, “I’ve been doing this for 18 months, and this guy can beat me after only six months!” You wonder again why you continue to bother. The solution to overcoming discouragement is simple, and it works in everything, not just Karate. It works if you want to get in shape, learn how to type, or even if you just want to be better at work, or be better at anything. The secret is this: don’t worry about what you can’t control, and it’s not about being better than everyone else, it’s about being better than you.

The first part, don’t worry about what you can’t control is such a simple yet powerful principle. Everyone has heard the prayer that goes, “Lord, help me to control the things I can, to not worry about the things I can’t control, and the wisdom to know the difference.” In Karate, I can not control how good that new guy is. I can’t control that he’s faster than me, bigger than me, and stronger than me. What I can control is how hard I train to prepare myself. I can control how dedicated I am. Do I come to every class? Do I give 100% every time? If I don’t and he does, I deserve to get beat up by him. In Karate, as in life, you get out of it what you put in.

The second part of overcoming discouragement is equally profound in it’s simplicity, and power. You can’t compare yourself to everyone else. You have to focus on your own improvement. Take weight loss for example. How easy is it to be discouraged at a gym when you’re overweight and out of shape, but the place is full of people with perfect bodies. If you allow yourself to give up, because you know you’ll never look like those people, all you do is ensure that you’re right. You have to focus on improving your own self, that’s what is meant by “it’s not about being better than everyone else, it’s about being better than you”. I could have easily given up on my dream of a black belt had I allowed myself to believe that it was important to be the best. I had to constantly remind myself that this martial arts journey was about royalsblackbelt0461me, not those other guys. It was about being better today than I was yesterday. Using this inward focus I was actually able to improve to the level where I really was the best, or at least close to it, but even if I wasn’t, it didn’t matter. The most important thing was that black belt me would destroy white belt me in a fight, but even more importantly, black belt me would walk away from the chance to fight white belt me, something that white belt me might not have done. I set out to improve myself and that’s what happened.

I earned my black belt and though it was hard, painful, and at times I was discouraged, I did it because I made up my mind that I was going to do it. I had the road map that led to my destination, and I followed the path no matter what. Earning that belt was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and I encourage everyone to challenge themselves to achieve something worthwhile. You don’t have to be an extraordinary person to do something great, you just need to decide to do it, plan how to do it, realize that it will be difficult and embrace that fact and then don’t ever give up.

Filed under Determination, Goals, Motivation, Success

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