The following is an article written by Brandon Bailey. Brandon’s blog, Adventure Deficit Disorder, is about enjoying life in the present, simplicity, and seeking adventure. If you enjoy this article, check out his blog and be sure to sign up for free email updates!
As humans, we are horrible at knowing what will make us happy. From a psychology standpoint, we generally avoid actions that will inflict some kind of pain or suffering and actively pursue what we think will make us happy. In our modern capitalist culture we have been socialized to think the consumption of goods will make us happy.
But does it?
On a recent trip through Aspen, Colorado I found myself falling into a sort of trap. Seeing the smiles on the faces of all the beautiful people drinking expensive wines on restaurant patios, the flashy cars rolling through the streets and the gorgeous ski-in ski-out mansions made me envious of the wonderful lives these people seemed to live. Then I started asking myself questions like, “Why am I envious of such a lifestyle?”, “Are these people really as happy as they seem?”, “How do so many afford a lifestyle of such luxury and extravagance?”
Envy is a powerful emotion. According to British philosopher Bertrand Russell, “envy is one of the most potent causes of unhappiness” because it reveals our self-perceptions and desires in relation to others. At a time when the MTV-lifestyle is seen as the epitome of success and credit cards are readily available, we (or at least people under 35) have been taught to think we need - and deserve – a celebrity lifestyle. This kind of entitled attitude is dangerous and despite having previously explored a high-life image of expensive dinners, exclusive parties, “celebrity” friends, penthouse apartments and European cars, only to discover that I was more unhappy than ever, I still find myself occasionally drawn in by the Siren’s song of the high-life.
A few years ago it dawned on me how absurd and unsustainable such a lifestyle is while in the VIP section of a nightclub with several well-known NFL players. I found myself surrounded by so-called beautiful people, wearing oversized watches embedded with diamonds - one more extravagant than the next, drinking bottles of champagne costing several hundred dollars each. I could feel envious eyes peering in from beyond the red velvet ropes – wasn’t this what I was supposed to aspire to? MTV and other social indicators told me so, but I couldn’t have felt any more like a fraud. After I left the club that night, early and alone, I never heard from any of my “friends” again, confirming that I had made the right choice to walk away from that lifestyle. Through this experience, I now realize that the so-called happiness derived from living this type of lifestyle is fleeting and only surface deep.
In the subsequent years I’ve discovered that by cutting my expenses, not increasing my earnings, I have more time and freedom to pursue the same things I enjoyed and dreamed about as a kid.
So what did I cut?
Big nights out. Dinners at trendy restaurants. Drinks into the early morning hours. These things can add up to big bucks. A nice dinner here or there with people that you really enjoy is perfectly fine, if not important, but should not be a lifestyle.
The wardrobe. I can’t figure out why anyone really needs multiple pairs of jeans or shirts that are exactly the same (especially t-shirts that cost upwards of $100). If you are worried that people will notice whether or not you wear the same thing every day, they won’t. Think you will never have enough clean clothes? You will. Clothes are rarely legitimately dirty after one wearing. Donate anything you have not worn in a year, even if it is a “nice” article of clothing that you “forgot about”. You probably won’t wear it again anyway. When getting new clothes, buy things that will serve multiple purposes and can be worn year-round.
The fancy car. This doesn’t mean we should all drive a beater - a car should be safe - but it does mean that having a car that is losing value faster than Lehman Brothers is going to hurt you. For some reason people seem to forget that cars depreciate and are therefore not an asset. You’ll also save on insurance and registration if the car is even just a few years old. Better yet, ride a bike. Gas is expensive.
The cable. According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day. That is 28 hours each week and 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year! In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube. Figuring in a fixed average cable bill of $71 per month for those 9 years ($71 x 12 months x 9 years) you would save $7,668 just by cutting out cable. If you think you need television for news or entertainment, try going without it for a little while. Suddenly that extra 28 hours per week will be obvious.
So how do so many people afford a lifestyle of such luxury and extravagance? Well, many don’t. If you follow the news even just a little, you’ve probably heard that the average American carries more the $8,000 in credit card debt. According to Liz Pulliam Weston at MSN, this isn’t entirely true, claiming that 50% of credit card users owe $8,000 or less. Still, 1% of the 84 million American households who have at least one credit card owe $21,400 or more – that’s 840,000 households that have racked up some serious credit card debt. Additionally, as of May 2010 there were 2,082,113 foreclosed homes in the US. In some states, the foreclosure rates are as high as 1 in 78.
As for the smiles, fancy cars, and castles in Aspen - it’s mostly surface deep and difficult to maintain. Credit cards are maxed, the fancy cars are just for show, and the ski castles are for sale. There are a lot of $30,000-millionaires out there living lives well beyond their means who will never achieve the freedom to pursue their childhood dreams. Don’t be one of them. Cut your expenses to get the time and finances for doing the things you really want.
