“That’s the Most Stupid Thing I’ve Ever Heard!”

March 16, 2011 5 Comments

No one wants to be told they’re fucking up, that their idea sucks, or that they’re going to fail. We’d like to think we always know what’s best for us, and that we’re more than capable of accomplishing anything we set our minds to. Afterall, haven’t we always been told we can be or do whatever we want? That all we have to do is try…

So why all the hate?

No matter who you are, as long as you’re doing something out of the ordinary, there’ll be someone (or a group of people) that criticizes your every move. They will tell you you’re doing it wrong or complain about how you’re doing what you’re doing, claiming they’d do it so much better than you.

But they’re not. They’re not the one out there doing it. You are!

And people make mistakes. It’s easy for someone to sit back and watch you fail, only to point their finger and say, “I told you so.” We hang our heads in shame, knowing they’re right. They did tell us we’d fail from the beginning. How could we have ever been so stupid to think that we’d actually succeed?

But what about all the times when you didn’t fail? If all someone ever tells you is that you’re going to fail, or that you’re making a mistake, of course they’ll be right once in a while. Hell, even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. So, what about those times that you didn’t fail?

No matter what you do in life, no matter how hard you try to do what you think is right, someone will be there to tell you it’s a bad idea, and that you’ll fail. Maybe they’re right. Maybe you will fail. But if you never try in the first place, isn’t that a failure just the same?

I’ve made a lot of mistakes.

I make them everyday. I say and do things I regret and I regret things I don’t say or do. I offend people. I hurt people’s feelings. But I also do a lot of things right in a day. And so, while I walk through my life making mistakes, I also do my best to bring positive energy to the world, to help people in need, and fight for what I believe is right. I couldn’t do any of that without fucking up from time to time.

Why is it so difficult to see ourselves?

And while it might seem that critics are the wrong type of people to have around, they might just be your strongest weapon. When you have people telling you that you’re making mistakes, listen to them. They’re probably on to something. When you live with yourself all your life, sometimes it’s hard to realize when you’re doing something wrong, or making mistakes.

“You can’t smell your own shit on your knees.” ~ Marilyn Manson

Pay attention to your critics, but try not to let them get you down. Use them instead to create a better you. Keep doing what you’re doing, fight for what you believe in, keep making mistakes, and grow.

Filed under Attitude, Philosophy, Success

Just Do It: Five Steps to Create the Life of Your Dreams

August 14, 2010 4 Comments

Now that I’ve moved away from my hometown, I use Facebook to keep my friends and family up to date on what I’m doing.  Whenever I travel somewhere or do something exciting (like skydiving or rock climbing) I post pictures of my adventures on my profile.  Almost every time I post a new photo album, someone leaves a comment about how they wish they could do the things that I do, claiming they don’t have the time, the money or that their responsibilities as a parent or employee hold them back.

They’re wrong! And if you think you don’t have the time or money, or that your obligations are limiting your opportunities, you’re wrong, too!  The only thing preventing anyone, including you, from doing anything is the willingness to make it happen; to Just DO It! The doors are open and opportunity awaits anyone willing to reach out and grab it.  There are no gatekeepers preventing you from living the life of your dreams. You don’t have to ask anyone for permission.  The world is your oyster!

How!? How can you begin living the life of your dreams…RIGHT NOW?

Make a Choice: What do you want out of life?  Do you dream of hiking the Appalachian Trail or living in a foreign country?  Whatever your desires, if you ever hope to see them through to fruition you must make them your priority.  If you want to travel, choose to make it a priority.  Want to become a writer?  Choose to make it a priority.  Inside each of us there is an “on” switch that we must flip.  Make a choice, flip that switch, commit to your goal and pursue it ruthlessly, without hesitation or apologies.

Stop Dreaming: Dreams bring inspiration but dreams and inspiration will only get you so far.  If you ever want to accomplish anything, you must move beyond the visions in your head.  Dreaming, hoping and wishing don’t produce results.  Burgess Meredith in Grumpier Old Men said it best:

You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which gets filled first.

Stop Making Excuses: There’s an excuse for everything and guess what, all of those excuses suck.  An excuse is just a way of justifying inaction due to fear.  It’s easy to say “I can’t” if you can blame it on some externality that you “aren’t able” to control.  It’s not easy to admit that you’re afraid of stepping outside of your comfort zone.  It’s so much easier to blame your situation on money, time or the kids.  And since those excuses are so universally accepted in our culture, no one is going to call you out on any of them.  No one, that is, except me.  All of your excuses are bullshit. You know it and I know it.  Stop making excuses, you won’t live forever.  These guys aren’t making excuses.

Prepare: Want to quit your job?  Sit down, take an honest assessment of your financial situation and create a plan to shore up any weaknesses you find.  Create a budget, eliminate all extraneous expenses, get out of debt, build your savings.  Prepare yourself in real ways that will help you to succeed.  No matter how much you hate your job, hate alone isn’t going to set you up for success.  Do something positive each day with that emotional energy, then smile as you walk through the door because you know that you are one day closer to walking away for good.

Take Action: Preparation leads you in the right direction but, like dreams, can only take you so far.  Once you reach a point where all the preparations have been made, it is time to take action.  Action creates change.  Change brings about opportunity.  Don’t count on luck to bring you the life of your dreams.  “Luck” is just opportunity presenting itself to those people who are prepared to act upon it.  You can create your own luck by taking action towards accomplishing your goals.  Want to become an artist?  Paint.  Want to learn a foreign language?  Take a class.  Want to travel the world?  Buy a plane ticket.  Action is the only thing that separates dreaming from reality.

Creating the life of your dreams isn’t difficult, it just requires dedication, determination and a willingness to step outside of your comfort zone to take calculated risks.  Success isn’t guaranteed, but failure only comes to those who quit. Turn your dreams into reality, make the choice to make it happen.  Give up the excuses and prepare for success.  Create a new reality; the reality of your dreams.

Filed under Attitude, Freedom, Goals, Inspiration, Life, Motivation, Opportunity, Passion, Potential, Preparation, Prioritizing, Success

Feeling a Little Like John Kerry

June 10, 2010 2 Comments

I’m the type of person that when I make up my mind, I stick to the plan.  Lately, though, this hasn’t been the case.  I’ve struggled to stick to spending plans, failed to keep a balanced budget and have been indecisive about whether to save money or pay down debt.  Cue the Swift Boat Veterans!

Even more than you’re probably sick of hearing about my struggle with my spending and the battle to balance savings and debt repayment, I’m sick of struggling to reach a solution to the problems.  It is frustrating to continually fail at reaching my spending goals and even more troubling to realize that what had been a surplus at the beginning of the year has become a deficit.

Exposing these challenges fills me with fear and discomfort.  It is a lot more fun to share the accomplishments, the highlights of life and inspirational stories.  It isn’t as enjoyable to broadcast my weaknesses and uncertainties and I don’t like sharing my insecurities and self-doubt.  I don’t like it but I want you to know that I struggle with the same challenges as anyone and I want you to realize that doing the right thing isn’t always the easiest.

It is a battle always in perpetuity.

I will continue to struggle and fight these battles so that when I come out at the end of all of this, I will have the comfort of knowing that I have fought to do the right thing the entire time.  In the process surely I will make mistakes and maybe even fail.  I will be wrong and do stupid things at times.  I will satisfy my impulses one day and regret the decision the next.

Despite all of this, there is an end to the war and it isn’t over until I have won.  It isn’t over until I have defeated my enemy; debt.  It isn’t over until I am consistently reaching my savings and retirement goals.  This battle cannot be lost until I choose to give up and accept defeat and as much as I may vacillate from time to time, I will persist and I will win.

We must fight the battles in our lives that are worthy of fighting and realize that defeat only happens if we make that choice.

*     *     *

Check out Pop Economics’ Carnival of Personal Finance #261 which featured this Hundred Goals’ article!!!

Filed under Budgeting, Debt, Goals, Life, Money, Preparation, Prioritizing, Random Thoughts, Savings, Spending, Success

Plan to Succeed

May 2, 2010 6 Comments

Yesterday I wrote about our progress of reducing our restaurant spending.  At the end of March, our goal was to cut our spending by 50%, to $190 a month.  We didn’t reach our goal.  We were able to reduce our spending by $146.13, a victory to be sure but not quite what we were hoping for.  What went wrong?

Like so many people, we use our debit/credit cards for the majority of our transactions throughout the month.  I enjoy the convenience of electronic transactions, not to mention the automatic tracking of purchases through our online bank accounts.  There is never a question of where the money went, like with cash.  On the other hand, with cash, when the money is gone, it is gone.  It would be difficult to pay for lunch with dollar bills you don’t have.

Unlike cash, when using a debit or credit card, there is no physical indication of when you have stepped over your budget.  It is possible to track all of our expenses online or tally the receipts of our purchases each day but we don’t.  Some people enjoy tracking each penny that comes into or flows out of their fingers.  I am not one of those people.  I prefer finding simple, lasting solutions to complex problems.  The less time and effort to solve the problem, the better.

We have made progress on cutting our expenses without tracking them throughout the month, yet we have consistently failed to reach our target.  Even though we were able to identify the problem areas in our spending habits and made efforts to improve, our efforts weren’t enough.  Why?

We didn’t have a plan to succeed.

This month, our goal remains the same;  to cut our restaurant expenses to $190 a month.  In order to accomplish this goal, we are trying something different.  We are stepping back in time and returning to cash for our restaurant budget.  When the money is gone, its gone.

There is one small hiccup in the process this month; our trip to Iceland.  It is easy to blow a budget while traveling, especially when one of my favorite things to do while traveling is eating.  I expect our efforts to cut our spending to be thwarted by our trip, however, this isn’t a reason to ignore our goal.

Having a plan sets us up for success and without one, while we may be able to make progress, it is more difficult to measure that progress and reaching our goal is more challenging.  In one month, I will know whether or not this plan has been successful and if not, I will analyze what went wrong and refine my plan.

The secret to success is to learn from your mistakes and use them to improve your plan.  Failure is only possible if we quit. 

Filed under Success

What Do You Really Have to Lose?

April 25, 2010 8 Comments

The following is in response to an article at The Simple Dollar titled What Do You Really Have to Lose?  I encourage you to read the original article so you can form your opinion based on all of the advice he offers to an upcoming college graduate.

As another school year draws to a close, students around the country will be graduating college.  This is an important point in life where the choice of money or passion is typically decided.  Some will find careers in their field of study, realizing after four years of classes that they were chasing dollar signs rather than their passion, while others are left to flounder, unable to find their dream job and unwilling to settle for less than they deserve.

A few days ago, a college student I know was talking about his upcoming graduation.  His plans mostly revolved around getting a good paying job, but he also talked about how he might go back to school some day and study a particular branch of philosophy that he truly loved studying and reading about.

I asked him why he was choosing to put a good paying job over a path that he was deeply personally passionate about that might not necessarily earn a great deal in the near future.  He pretty much exploded, offering up a rant about how the world revolves around money and the only way he would ever be able to chase the dreams he has is if he has lots of income.

What is Trent’s advice to this recent graduate?

Since you don’t need much income, get a job sitting behind a counter at a gas station at night.  Earn minimum wage and sit there with your notebook open, collecting your ideas and thoughts about whatever it is you want to do.  Spend your mental and physical energy building the life you want.

There is no better time in your life to just throw caution to the wind and see where your passion will carry you than when you’re young and free of many responsibilities.  If it doesn’t work, you’re not out anything much – maybe a few years, at worst.  If it does work, you’ve opened the door to a lifetime of doing what you want to do.

What do you really have to lose?  Not much.  What do you have to gain?  The life you dream of.

After four years of college, Trent thinks the best option for this student is to sit behind the counter at a gas station doodling in a notebook?  Get real!  He has a degree which has the potential to earn a lot of money, he should pursue that avenue, even if it doesn’t make him happy, temporarily.  At least he will be unhappy while earning a decent wage rather than being unhappy selling cigarettes and porno magazines while barely scraping by on minimum wage.

Unless his education was financed by his parents, repayment on his Student Loans will begin six months after graduation.  Trying to pay those loans on a minimum wage job isn’t realistic.  If he takes a higher paying position, at least he could focus on knocking out the debt quickly so he is able to move on to better things sooner.

If it is his desire to return to school to study philosophy, having a cash reserve would make that transition much easier.  Most people are not able to pursue their dreams in life because of a lack of money.  It is not possible for them to switch between the lifestyle they have been living to one which might limit their income.  The higher paying position would also allow him to save money on a more accelerated schedule than a minimum wage job would allow, thus making that transition happen much faster and more easily.

This is my advice to this same college graduate:

Your job does not define you.  Society’s emphasis on a person’s career obscures our perception of self.  Defining who you are as an individual based on your career is limiting.  You are unique.  Don’t lose your individuality, don’t become another cog in the corporate machine.

Money is not everything but it can help create the life you desire.  Maybe your perception of the world is that it revolves around money.  It doesn’t.  This is a mistake many people make.  They believe that happiness is derived from driving fancy cars and living in expensive homes.  They believe success is defined by material possessions.  Life is about internal happiness, not external gratification.  Success is finding satisfaction and acceptance within and of yourself.

Income is only half of the equation.  So many people believe that making a lot of money is the foundation to the life of their dreams, only to find out that they have become a slave to their job.  Earning a large paycheck serves no purpose if your lifestyle grows with your income.  Live frugally, save as much money as possible and use this as your foundation to pursue your ambitions.

This is the time in your life when you have the power to define the remainder of your days here on Earth.  Work as hard as you can to set yourself up for success.  Seize opportunities when they present themselves, don’t be afraid to take risks.  Play the game to your advantage and build a strong foundation for the rest of your life.  Make every decision based on how it will affect your dream of studying philosophy.

Don’t work at a gas station!

Filed under Career, Education, Goals, Passion, Prioritizing, Success

Your Struggles Give You Character

December 19, 2009 2 Comments

A goal isn’t a goal if it is easy to accomplish.  A goal is something that you have to work at.  A goal means challenging yourself, facing a fear, overcoming disadvantage, taking charge, living proactively instead of reactively.  Goals require hard work and perseverance.  At times, you will falter.  You will struggle.  You may fail.  Through it all, it isn’t the accomplishment that is important but that you pushed yourself through the challenges in order to succeed.

It is easy to stand on the sideline and watch the world move around you while you wish away your life.  I know, I’ve done it.  A large portion of my teenage years were spent smoking pot, listening to rock n’ roll and sleeping.  While none of these things individually are the reason why I was unmotivated to be successful, they were my escape from reality.  It was my way of ignoring the fact that I was failing to live up to my potential.  I was insecure, I doubted my ability, I was afraid.  Worst of all, I was comfortable.  I had become complacent and accepted my mediocre existence.

It took a long time for me to realize that life has so many opportunities to offer and that I was missing out.  Getting thrown in jail really helped me to understand the path that my life was taking.  In many ways, sitting in a jail cell with no one to talk to, coming down from my high, was the best moment in my life.  I knew that I needed to change my life.

Just like people struggle to lose weight or struggle to finish running a marthon, I struggled to get away from drugs.  I lost all of my friends and it was hard to change my lifestyle.  I fell back into drugs a couple of times before finally walking away from it for good but the struggle was worth the effort.  I am able to reflect back on that moment of my life and appreciate the lessons I have learned.

It is easy to be discouraged when things don’t work out as we had planned or if results are not as immediate as we would like.  We forget that success isn’t something that happens overnight.  When we think about climbing a mountain, we envision ourselves standing at the summit, casting our gaze towards the distant horizon but forget about the six hour hike to the top.

Success comes to those who are willing to persist during moments of struggle and pain.  Our struggles and perseverance are what set us apart.  Those who stick it out will see the rewards of their efforts and those who don’t, won’t.  It is your struggles that give you character.  Your struggles make you who you are today.

Filed under Attitude, Determination, Goals, Motivation, Success

Ten Commandments of Goals & Money

November 28, 2009 2 Comments

"Ten" by koDesign @ Flickr

“Accomplish Your Goals While Managing Your Finances.”

At times, the two seem to be at odds with one another.  How can a person manage their finances when goals are oftentimes lofty dreams of indulgence?  A waver in one direction has an immediate impact upon the other.  The secret to is to find balance.

For the past year I have been toeing this line in my own life.  I have managed to pay off the last of my credit card debt and paid my car loan off more than a year early.  At the same time I spent a month traveling North America, spent a night under the stars of a clear California sky and climbed Mount Saint Helens.  This experience has brought me to some conclusions.  I’ve singled out the ten most important things to consider when you begin your journey towards accomplishing your own life goals.

The Ten Commandments of Goals & Money:

1) Know Thyself: Any successful journey in life requires some degree of foresight and planning.  Your future is no different.  Take time to consider what your values are and where your passions lie.  Create a list of goals and search for a common theme.  Use this as a compass to help orient yourself in the direction you want your life to take.

2) Happiness Is NOT “Out There”: Our focus frequently rests upon what we do not have or those things that are not ideal in our lives.  We set goals as a way to better our lives, not realizing that our focus on improvement is the reason we are dissatisfied with our lives today.  We trick ourselves into believing that happiness can be found in a pay raise or that a boob job will make us beautiful.  This isn’t the truth.  Happiness cannot be found “out there”, it comes from within.

3) Follow Your Heart: Too often we ignore what is in our hearts, opting instead to think with our head.  While our brains have great capacity for extraordinary intellectual achievement, sometimes they hinder our spirit.  Listen to your heart.

4) Money IS Important: Money does not equal happiness but money is important.  Without it, our focus would change from accomplishing goals to struggling to survive.  It is important to be fiscally responsible and to find a balance between today and tomorrow.  Seek harmony in your finances.

5) Know Your Priorities & Align Your Actions: There is a difference between saying and doing.  It is easy to say you value something.  It is not so easy to express your values through action.  It is crucial that we align our values with our actions if we hope to live a life which is in harmony with our priorities.  In doing so we are able to live guilt free, knowing that we are doing what we believe is the right thing.  At the end of the day we can rest our head upon our pillow with a clear conscious.

6) Modify Your Internal Dialogue: We are too hard on ourselves.  Instead of building ourselves up, we break ourselves down.  We focus on our flaws, the things that we need to improve upon.  We ignore our talents, our individuality.  Learn to love your imperfections, they are what make you unique.

7) Debt is Slavery: We may not be pulling a plow across the earth like our ancestors but we are no less of a slave to our debts, however, we are our own masters.  Whenever you feel it is time to break free from the binding chains of debt, you are in control to make that decision.  The more debt you accumulate and each dollar you waste is another day of slavery.  It doesn’t need to be that way…break free.

8) Stop Making Excuses: If you think about something long enough or hard enough, you can be certain that you will always find a reason not to do something.  Making excuses is not productive.  Stop.

9) The First Step is Always the Most Difficult: The hardest thing about going for a jog is putting on the shoes.  After that, things tend to fall into place.  The same can be said for most aspects of life.  Overcoming inertia is difficult and may require a leap of faith, a request for assistance or admitting you don’t have all of the answers.  This simple act may be the catalyst to major change in your life.

10) Knowledge is Power: The other day I was reading a blog post and read the following:

Uncertainty is caused by a lack of knowledge.  Hesitation is the product of fear.

This simple thought struck a chord and as I thought more about it, Fear controls so many aspects of our day-to-day lives.  We hesitate out of fear and fear what is unknown.  By educating ourselves we remove the unknown variables.  We eliminate the uncertainty.  The more we know, the more confident we become as an individual.  Knowledge is power.

Filed under Budgeting, Confidence, Debt, Education, Goals, Life, Motivation, Opportunity, Passion, Potential, Preparation, Prioritizing, Savings, Spending, Success

What is Your Master Plan?

November 21, 2009 Leave a Comment

"Sail boat" by Nuno Vasco Rodrigues @ Flickr

Without goals, our lives are like a ship without sails.  The winds of potential blow strong against our mast but with no sail to capture the energy we are left stationary, floating quietly with no command over the direction the waves push us.

Having goals allows us to hoist our sails high into the air and in an instant we are skipping across the surface of the water.  Our sails are filled with energy from the wind and our eyes are focused on the sliver of land that has just peaked out from the ocean blue.  Our destination comes into focus and as we arrive upon the shore we have learned a powerful lesson; if we create goals and harness our ambition & passion, we will realize our dreams.

If we are ships upon the sea with no focus or direction, what can we do to raise our sails and capture the wind?

Something I don’t spend much time discussing is the power of long-term goals.  My list of 100 Goals consists mostly of milestone accomplishments, things that once accomplished can be crossed off the list.  Crossing a goal off the list is a moment of satisfaction; knowing that I’ve done something great and meaningful in my life but once that goal is crossed off, it is done.  The moment has passed & I am looking forward to the next milestone that I can work towards accomplishing.

While I wouldn’t change any of the experiences I’ve had in using this method to accomplish my goals, the question that begs to be answered is this: “What happens when I have accomplished everything I want to do in my life?  What will I be left with?”

The answer is to have a Master Plan; a series of successive goals that will ultimately lead to what we envision our Perfect Life to be.  A Master Plan requires knowing where you want your life to be and figuring out a way to get there from where you are today.   It requires you to be proactive and take intentional steps in order to make your plan a reality.  It requires discipline, determination and flexibility.

Creating Your Master Plan

Too often we find ourselves ignoring our dreams of a Perfect Life because we tell ourselves that they are not grounded in reality.  Before we allow our desires to blossom into anything more than a passing thought, we stifle ourselves.  We are blocking our own success and happiness.  There will always be a reason why we “can’t” do something and now it is time to ignore those excuses and begin to create your Master Plan.

Close your eyes and envision your Perfect Life.  What do you see?  Are you working with panda bears in a sanctuary?  Are you backpacking the Appalachian Trail?  Maybe you are relaxing in your backyard drinking lemonade watching your children playing on the swing set.  No matter what you see, you have found your destination.  Now it is time to figure out how you will get there.

Usually at this point you would push your dreams aside with thoughts of “reality”, all the reasons why you are unable to pursue your dreams.  I want you to consider all of these excuses about why you can’t follow your dream but I need you to change your perspective.  Instead of using them as reasons why you can’t follow your dream, think of them as challenges to beat.  Don’t use them as an excuse any longer.  Use them as motivation.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed, find a way to overcome these challenges.  Your plan should be ambitious yet realistic.

The next phase in accomplishing your Master Plan is to figure out what steps you must take in order to position yourself to make your dream possible.  Will your Perfect Life require a career change?  Do you need to further your education? If your Perfect Life requires you to get a degree or certificate, enroll in classes, even if that means taking one class a semester for the time being.  If you need to change your career, start submitting resumes and begin networking with people who are in the field that you want to break into.  Prepare to Quit Your Job.

Ultimately, your Master Plan is about having a long-term goal to pursue while using short-term goals as a means for making progress towards your Perfect Life.  A Master Plan is not something that happens overnight.  My own Master Plan has been in the works for nearly 5 years, and I am only now really beginning to fully understand what it is that I want in my own life.  Progress is slow but steady and each day is a new opportunity.  Today is your opportunity to make a change in your life, an opportunity to start working towards your Perfect Life.  No more excuses, no more hesitation.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  You decide what that means for you.

Filed under Behavior, Career, Education, Employment, Goals, Motivation, Passion, Potential, Preparation, Success

It’s Not About You

July 29, 2009 1 Comment

"Ballade of the Bookworm" by Sarah.Catherine @ Flickr

There are moments in life when we tend to forget a simple concept; that it isn’t always about you.

Ever since I began working I have been searching for ways to unlock doors that would allow opportunity for a career in international markets with whatever company I found myself working for.  My early jobs were quite limited in allowing such a move but eventually I found opportunity at the Box Factory where I began working during my Freshman year of college.

Much of the product that we were building was beginning to be outsourced to countries around the world.  Since I had no real plans of staying with this company for more than a short period of time, I wasn’t bothered by the fact that I would be teaching people how to do my job, my only concern was being able to travel.

In order to facilitate this transfer the company needed knowledgeable people to train the workers overseas.  There were opportunities to travel to places like Mexico, China & Poland.  Where you went was determined by which department you worked in.    I was open to travelling anywhere but I really wanted to see China.

After working for a couple of years I had gained enough seniority to be able to transfer into the department that was shipping their products to Shanghai.  People in this department were constantly leaving for China & returning after month long assignments.  I knew that if I wanted to stand a chance at being one of those people that I would have to learn the product thoroughly & do everything I could to stand out above the crowd.

I expressed my interest in travelling overseas to anyone who would listen.  Each time I would discuss the possibility with a team leader or supervisor I paid attention to everything they said as I believed their words might hold the secret to unlocking the door.  If they suggested I do something to improve or that I take on roles which were not in my job description, I was happy to do so.

Eventually I began training new employees in our department & I knew it was only a matter of time before management began to take notice of all my hard work and ambition.  Anytime I had a break from classes (Christmas, Summer) I would remind my team leader & supervisor that I was still interested in helping train overseas and that I would be available to do so.

After months of not getting anywhere I decided to try my luck with my manager.  If he couldn’t help me, no one could.  I arranged a time to meet with him to discuss my future with the company.  When the day came I made sure that I wore nice clothes in order to appear professional.  We shook hands and got down to business.

He asked me some questions about school and what my future plans were.  I was honest and told him that once I was done with school that I would be transferring somewhere else to finish my degree.  We discussed a wide variety of topics, many which didn’t have anything to do with why I was there.  Finally the conversation settled on China.

This was my time to shine.  I launched into a monologue about how this position was perfect for me, how I love to travel, I this & I that.  About two minutes into my speach he stopped me and asked if he could give me some advice.  I said he could.

His advice was simple; “Its not about you.  It is about how you can benefit the company, not how we can benefit you.”

Talk about taking the wind out of my sails.  I didn’t know what to say or where to go.  It felt like I had just been kicked in the groin.  I had blown my opportunity & I felt broken.  He went on to discuss methods of conversation in which I could still get what I wanted without phrasing things in a way which seem self-absorbed.  While I was disappointed in myself, I listened to his advice.  I knew what he was telling me was honest and genuine and that it might just hold that key I had been looking for all along.

“It’s not about you” is a powerful lesson I learned the hard way.  My persistence was thwarted by my ambition.  If I find myself in a similar situation in the future I have experience on my side.  Knowing what to say is just as important as knowing what not to say.  When you want something from someone else, find a way to show them that you are of value to them.  Present yourself in a way that highlights what you can do to benefit them, not how they can benefit you.

Filed under Career, Success

Don’t Waste Your Life Dreaming

July 24, 2009 1 Comment

"winter's coming." by *whimsical @ FlickrThis website is devoted to following your dreams, chasing after your ambitions, and changing your life for the better.  The content of my articles is intended to inspire people, to help them focus inward on their desires, to reflect on where their path has led them & where they want to go from here.  Inspiration & introspection are only a fraction of what it takes to actually accomplish your goals.  It is not enough to be inspired.  It is not enough to admit your mistakes.  It is not enough to dream about a better life.

None of this will bring you any closer to accomplishing anything.  Yes, inspiration and dreaming are powerful motivators but they change nothing if you never push beyond them.  You can’t just dream about being successful.  It isn’t enough to daydream about laying on the beach in the south of Spain.  You cannot wish your body into becoming slim & fit.  Dreams require action in order to become reality.

One of my goals is to run a marathon.  I have never ran more than a few miles at one time in my entire life.  I have ran a mile or two once in a while but could I possibly complete a 26-mile marathon?  In my mind I feel anyone has the ability to do anything, it just takes dedication & a willingness to work towards that goal.  It is much easier to sit on my couch in front of the television & watch people run than it is for me to find the desire to pick myself up and go for a run.  The sweat and pain that comes with pushing our physical limitations can be unpleasant but I find my motivation in knowing that if I am willing to endure, someday I will run in a marathon & I will finish.

My friend Noah has been training for an upcoming mini-marathon for a little over a month.  In this time he has gone from being unable to run more than a mile to running more than 10 miles.  That is impressive!  It shows exactly how much a person can accomplish if they are motivated & willing to harness that energy.  I joined him today & ran further than I ever have before, six miles.  It isn’t marathon distance, but it is a beginning.  Even after running all of that distance, at the very end we both pushed ourselves to finish the last 100 yards in a sprint.  We were both sweating & exhausted but it was worth the effort.  I was filled with a sense of pride for having pushed myself to finish.

I know that without his encouragement I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed early to go for a run.  Hearing him talk about how much he has improved over the course of a month has made me realize that it takes effort, lots of it, to become a better person.  Whether you are training for a marathon or trying to get out of debt, it takes effort.  You have to make sacrifices at first.  You might feel like giving up, but as you wipe the sweat from your brow & look at how far you’ve come since the beginning, you dig deep within yourself to find the energy to push as hard as you can to the finish line.

Effort is what separates those who dream from those who are living a dream.  A dream is nothing more than a dream if you don’t chase after it.  A goal means nothing if you don’t strive to accomplish it.  Dream your dream, find your inspiration & make it a reality.

Filed under Goals, Hope, Motivation, Potential, Success

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