One of my goals is to earn a Black Belt in Karate. My experience in the martial arts is limited so instead of trying to write about something I don’t know much about, I decided to call upon the knowledge of someone who has accomplished exactly what I hope to one day succeed in accomplishing myself. Today’s post is a guest post from Brad Linford, and this is his story:
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I just earned my Black Belt in Shaolin Kempo Karate last month, almost 3 years to the day after my first lesson. On the first day I was one of about 9 people in the class. Only one of them stuck it out with me the entire 3 years to earn himself a black belt as well. Everyone else quit coming for various reasons. They were all replaced by other people who stuck it out for a while but then quit as well. I don’t know exactly how many people came and left, but my guess is somewhere between 50 and 100. Why the high turnover? Why did only 2 people of 100 stick it out long enough to earn Karate’s ultimate honor? Because it’s hard, that’s why. Like anything worth achieving, reaching the rank of Black Belt is something that must be earned through toughness, hard work, and perseverance.
So why was I different? I’m sure there are innumerable answers to that question, but the one most relevant is probably this- I wanted it more. I took my first lesson with one goal in mind: Black Belt. I never considered it an option to quit before my goal was achieved. I’m probably not the only one who had a goal in mind when I started, but I would guess that a majority of those who had a goal and didn’t make it, never really thought it through. Did they realize there would be tough times, or did they think it would be easy? Did they expect to breeze through, or did they realize it could take a few years? Were they willing to do the hard work, or did they think that going through the motions would suffice? In fairness, a lot them had to stop because of circumstances beyond their control like money, a job, or family issues. Some people moved away, and some were injured badly enough to end their journey. I’m going to focus on my journey, and how goal setting helped make the difference for me.
First, like I said, I had an ultimate goal. The end goal is important, because without it I would have quit long before earning the belt. I had a mental picture of where I wanted to be, and I decided right away that I was going to get there. It’s been said that not having a goal is like floating down river without a paddle. This is true, in that you are at the river’s mercy. If the current drives you ashore, and you don’t have a destination in mind, you’re likely to get out of the boat and be done. We need to know where we’re going, otherwise how will we know once we get there?
If knowing the destination is important then knowing the route is just as important. In the analogy of the river we now have paddles and an endgame in mind, but achieving something great and worthwhile can be intimidating, especially at first when we have so far to go. How do we make large goals more manageable? Incremental goals. Incremental goals are the most underestimated aspect of any type of goal setting. I won a taco eating contest once by eating 15 tacos in one sitting. After about 4 or 5 tacos I was full and didn’t want to eat anymore, but there was that contest to win, so I set a goal; one more. When I finished one more taco the new goal became one more bite. Eventually one more bite became taco number 15, and I won the contest. Had I not broken the goal down to small increments I would never have done it. In karate the incremental goals are already laid out for you in the form of all the different colors of belts on the way to black. The next goal is always to reach the next belt.
Incremental goals can be broken down even further. This is where it gets fun. Achieving a goal always makes us feel good, and motivates us to continue, so the more small goals on the way to the big goal, the more fun and successful the journey becomes. In the taco eating contest the goal of eating another taco was broken down into the goal of taking one more bite. In karate it was learning the next technique, or the next form. Breaking it down even further it was just showing up to class. I never had a goal to make it to every class, but after each class I completed the most important goal was just to make it to the following class. I had 4 classes a week. Multiply that by 52 weeks a year and again by 3 for the 3 years it took, and I had 624 opportunities to achieve a tiny goal, each one taking me closer to the big one.
One of the biggest challenges to lasting long enough to reach Black Belt is discouragement. Starting something new can be intimidating, especially when surrounded by people who have been at it for a while. It’s easy to fall into the trap of discouragement. You see that the people with experience are very good, and doubt sets in, “I’ll never be as good as that guy” you tell yourself. You wonder why you should even bother. Even worse is when you’ve been at it for a year or two, and you’re still not the best. Now it’s not that the guys ahead of you are better, but it’s the ones behind you, “I’ve been doing this for 18 months, and this guy can beat me after only six months!” You wonder again why you continue to bother. The solution to overcoming discouragement is simple, and it works in everything, not just Karate. It works if you want to get in shape, learn how to type, or even if you just want to be better at work, or be better at anything. The secret is this: don’t worry about what you can’t control, and it’s not about being better than everyone else, it’s about being better than you.
The first part, don’t worry about what you can’t control is such a simple yet powerful principle. Everyone has heard the prayer that goes, “Lord, help me to control the things I can, to not worry about the things I can’t control, and the wisdom to know the difference.” In Karate, I can not control how good that new guy is. I can’t control that he’s faster than me, bigger than me, and stronger than me. What I can control is how hard I train to prepare myself. I can control how dedicated I am. Do I come to every class? Do I give 100% every time? If I don’t and he does, I deserve to get beat up by him. In Karate, as in life, you get out of it what you put in.
The second part of overcoming discouragement is equally profound in it’s simplicity, and power. You can’t compare yourself to everyone else. You have to focus on your own improvement. Take weight loss for example. How easy is it to be discouraged at a gym when you’re overweight and out of shape, but the place is full of people with perfect bodies. If you allow yourself to give up, because you know you’ll never look like those people, all you do is ensure that you’re right. You have to focus on improving your own self, that’s what is meant by “it’s not about being better than everyone else, it’s about being better than you”. I could have easily given up on my dream of a black belt had I allowed myself to believe that it was important to be the best. I had to constantly remind myself that this martial arts journey was about 
me, not those other guys. It was about being better today than I was yesterday. Using this inward focus I was actually able to improve to the level where I really was the best, or at least close to it, but even if I wasn’t, it didn’t matter. The most important thing was that black belt me would destroy white belt me in a fight, but even more importantly, black belt me would walk away from the chance to fight white belt me, something that white belt me might not have done. I set out to improve myself and that’s what happened.
I earned my black belt and though it was hard, painful, and at times I was discouraged, I did it because I made up my mind that I was going to do it. I had the road map that led to my destination, and I followed the path no matter what. Earning that belt was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and I encourage everyone to challenge themselves to achieve something worthwhile. You don’t have to be an extraordinary person to do something great, you just need to decide to do it, plan how to do it, realize that it will be difficult and embrace that fact and then don’t ever give up.
There are times in life when we feel like no matter what we do, nothing works. We feel like a failure and to make matters worse, life has an uncanny way of kicking us when we are down. There are moments when we think it may be better to give up. We begin to realize that the effort is no longer worth the reward. We question ourselves; our ability, our intelligence. All around us we are surrounded by people who never seem to struggle, never fail, always succeed. What do these people have that you don’t? What separates those who succeed and those who fail? 
