Do you sometimes find yourself wondering how you ever ended up here?  Could you have done better?  Might things have been different, if only…the thoughts begin swirling around in your mind and soon you are second guessing the way your life has turned out. 

We all face moments of doubt; moments when we feel as though we’ve diverged from our path.  One morning we might wake up only to realize that we are in the midst of a journey we never should have been on in the first place.  In our moments of doubt we feel vulnerable; uncertain and insecure about where we are, wondering where it all might have went wrong…and it paralyzes us.

We’re afraid to change.  Not because we don’t want to change but because change is uncomfortable.  Finding the courage to make a major life-altering change is like trying to find the cojones to ask out the prettiest girl in school.  As much as you want to go on a date with her, it’s practically impossible to work up the nerve to introduce yourself (while not making a complete ass of yourself in the process).  The same is true for changing your life.  It is hard, it will be scary and you may even question your sanity at times.

Day after day we go through the motions of life.  We know something in our life isn’t right and despite our recognition that something is amiss, we shield ourselves from the truth. We try hiding behind the little lies we all tell ourselves; that things will get better, that he will change, that I’ll be promoted if only I work more hours…

We tell ourselves these things because we’re afraid to say “Screw it!”

We’re scared to quit, to cut our losses and move on to something else.  Afterall, we’ve invested so much time, money and effort into it that moving on would mean all our energy has been for naught.  So a relationship that has long ago soured lingers only because of the fond memories you once shared.  A bad investment stays in your portfolio because you can’t bear to take a loss, all the while its value continues to plummet.  And that degree in computer science that promised riches…well, rich you may be but happy you are not.

We must overcome the fears that strangle our dreams.  It’s time to be honest with yourself, say “Screw it!” and move forward.  Things change, people change, values change, beliefs change.  Life is dynamic.  Embrace change with an open heart.  The time, energy and money are all gone.  You will never be able to get them back.  So ask yourself, is it really worth it to invest more into this or are you just beating a dead horse?

We’ve all heard the stories of people who find themselves on the verge of death only to come back a changed person.  They quit their jobs, divorce their husband and chase after their passions.  These people aren’t crazy.  They get it!  They understand that this life is all they are ever promised and even a moment of dissatisfaction is a moment too many.  Don’t go another day questioning your life.  Change it!  You might not be so lucky as to have a second chance to get things right.

Find your happiness.

One of the components of the fuel mixture on the Apollo lunar module involved a reaction with hydrazine and dinitrogen tetraoxide.  If the balanced equation for this reaction is:

2 N₂H₄ (l) + N₂O₄ (g) → 3 N₂ (g) + 4 H₂O (g)

What volume of nitrogen gas (measured at STP) would result from the reaction of 1500 kg of hydrazine and 1000 kg of dintrogen tetraoxide?

If it’s been a while since you’ve taken a Chemistry class, allow me to refresh your memory on (or introduce you to) limiting reagent problems.  The purpose of this problem is to identify which of the two reactants will be consumed first in the reaction, either the hydrazine or dinitrogen tetraoxide.  By determining which reactant is limiting, you can calculate exactly how much product, in this case nitrogen gas, will be produced.

Consider your own life.  Are there aspects of your life that you can identify as limiting your potential to grow, expand or produce?  Is there something preventing you from realizing your maximum potential?  Are you as happy as your heart tells you you ought to be?  Are you earning what you’re worth at your job?  Are you free from debt?  Does your schedule allow you to pursue goals, hobbies and passions or do you wish there was more time in the day?  Are you active and healthy or is it a struggle to climb a couple of flights of stairs?

Consider your own life and all the factors you have identified as being the limiting reagents.  Consider the money problems, your unsatisfying career and your neglected and deteriorating relationship with the love of your life.  Take a few moments to really consider your life and all that is limiting it.

Consider them and ask yourself, “What do all these things have in common?”

The answer is you!  You are the common bond and, therefore, you are the limiting reagent in your life.  Not the money.  Not the career.  Not the schedule.  Not the debt.  Not the kids.  Nothing is limiting your potential but you.  No one else is restricting your happiness.  The possibility of your life is only possible with your effort.

Your life is a chemical reaction.  If you want a little more product – more results, more happiness and satisfaction, more money, no debt, that old spark – you’ve got to add a little more YOU to the mixture.

Want to get out of debt?  Add a little more effort on your part to get out of debt.  Want to lose weight?  You have to start exercising and eating right.  Are you sick of your career?  Find a more meaningful method of supporting yourself financially.

You can’t expect a chemical reaction to happen without adding the right amounts of chemicals and you can’t expect your life to improve or progress any further without YOU being proactive and aggressive.  If you want more product,  you must add more YOU to the reaction.

Now that you’ve identified the real limiting reagent in your life, add as much of it as you can and produce as much product as your life will allow.

Class dismissed!

“Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.”
     ~Henry David Thoreau

I have a confession to make: I’ve never bought clothes at a thrift store.

I have browsed the selection to see what sorts of “treasures” I could find but came out empty-handed each time.  Even though I firmly believe in living a minimalist and simple lifestyle, I diverge from the frugality gurus when it comes to clothing and fashion.

The experts want us to believe that secondhand stores are the best option for fashion on a budget.  It is true that used clothes will cover our bodies just as well as a brand new pair of designer jeans, and for a lot less money, but should cost always be the only consideration?

“Who cares about the clothes I wear?  What matters is what’s on the inside.”

Philosophically, the content of our character is the only thing that matters.  Our clothes, the cars we drive or the house in which we live don’t define who we are as a person, yet in today’s society, appearances do matter.  How we dress influences our ability to attract a mate, find a great career or meet new people.  Ninety-three percent of how you are perceived during the first seven seconds of meeting a person is based on appearance.  Are you sending the right signals?

Clothes are more than just functional pieces of fabric meant to cover our jiggly bits.  They are an outward reflection of how we perceive ourselves on the inside.  Shy people wear plain clothes so they won’t stand out in a crowd.  People who are insecure about their weight wear clothes to hide the extra pounds.  Punks wear clothes that represent their frustration with the mainstream.  Our personal identity is directly expressed through the clothes we wear, so while our clothes may not define who we are as a person, we do communicate who we are through our style of dress.

And clothes aren’t just about style or creating an image.  Have you ever noticed how good you feel after a haircut?  Your confidence is lifted and you feel better about how you look.  Instead of feeling insecure or uncomfortable about your appearance, you feel sexy and strong.  Clothing has the same power.   A stylish outfit can boost your self-esteem and make you feel bold.  You may even find yourself asking out that cute girl you’ve been checking out for the last couple of weeks.

All this isn’t to say that we need a closet full of designer clothes.  Having a few key articles of quality clothing is far superior to owning a bunch of Stuff you don’t wear.  A wardrobe that you can mix and match to create different outfits is better than a different outfit for each occasion.  It is about getting the best value for your money, which means buying clothes that you will wear often and regularly.

Frugality is never about the money.  It is about finding the best value.  A carefully picked wardrobe can do wonders to improve your self-esteem and open doors to new opportunities in your career and love-life.  Money spent on quality clothing in timeless styles that will raise your self-esteem is money well-spent, at any price.

Now that I’ve moved away from my hometown, I use Facebook to keep my friends and family up to date on what I’m doing.  Whenever I travel somewhere or do something exciting (like skydiving or rock climbing) I post pictures of my adventures on my profile.  Almost every time I post a new photo album, someone leaves a comment about how they wish they could do the things that I do, claiming they don’t have the time, the money or that their responsibilities as a parent or employee hold them back.

They’re wrong! And if you think you don’t have the time or money, or that your obligations are limiting your opportunities, you’re wrong, too!  The only thing preventing anyone, including you, from doing anything is the willingness to make it happen; to Just DO It! The doors are open and opportunity awaits anyone willing to reach out and grab it.  There are no gatekeepers preventing you from living the life of your dreams. You don’t have to ask anyone for permission.  The world is your oyster!

How!? How can you begin living the life of your dreams…RIGHT NOW?

Make a Choice: What do you want out of life?  Do you dream of hiking the Appalachian Trail or living in a foreign country?  Whatever your desires, if you ever hope to see them through to fruition you must make them your priority.  If you want to travel, choose to make it a priority.  Want to become a writer?  Choose to make it a priority.  Inside each of us there is an “on” switch that we must flip.  Make a choice, flip that switch, commit to your goal and pursue it ruthlessly, without hesitation or apologies.

Stop Dreaming: Dreams bring inspiration but dreams and inspiration will only get you so far.  If you ever want to accomplish anything, you must move beyond the visions in your head.  Dreaming, hoping and wishing don’t produce results.  Burgess Meredith in Grumpier Old Men said it best:

You can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which gets filled first.

Stop Making Excuses: There’s an excuse for everything and guess what, all of those excuses suck.  An excuse is just a way of justifying inaction due to fear.  It’s easy to say “I can’t” if you can blame it on some externality that you “aren’t able” to control.  It’s not easy to admit that you’re afraid of stepping outside of your comfort zone.  It’s so much easier to blame your situation on money, time or the kids.  And since those excuses are so universally accepted in our culture, no one is going to call you out on any of them.  No one, that is, except me.  All of your excuses are bullshit. You know it and I know it.  Stop making excuses, you won’t live forever.  These guys aren’t making excuses.

Prepare: Want to quit your job?  Sit down, take an honest assessment of your financial situation and create a plan to shore up any weaknesses you find.  Create a budget, eliminate all extraneous expenses, get out of debt, build your savings.  Prepare yourself in real ways that will help you to succeed.  No matter how much you hate your job, hate alone isn’t going to set you up for success.  Do something positive each day with that emotional energy, then smile as you walk through the door because you know that you are one day closer to walking away for good.

Take Action: Preparation leads you in the right direction but, like dreams, can only take you so far.  Once you reach a point where all the preparations have been made, it is time to take action.  Action creates change.  Change brings about opportunity.  Don’t count on luck to bring you the life of your dreams.  “Luck” is just opportunity presenting itself to those people who are prepared to act upon it.  You can create your own luck by taking action towards accomplishing your goals.  Want to become an artist?  Paint.  Want to learn a foreign language?  Take a class.  Want to travel the world?  Buy a plane ticket.  Action is the only thing that separates dreaming from reality.

Creating the life of your dreams isn’t difficult, it just requires dedication, determination and a willingness to step outside of your comfort zone to take calculated risks.  Success isn’t guaranteed, but failure only comes to those who quit. Turn your dreams into reality, make the choice to make it happen.  Give up the excuses and prepare for success.  Create a new reality; the reality of your dreams.

We all have our ideas of what the “perfect life” would be like but often the images in our mind are a far cry from the reality we are living.  If you were able to travel back in time and ask a younger version of yourself if this is the future they’d choose for themselves, what would their answer be?  Twenty years ago, could you have envisioned the life you have today?  Is it everything you’d imagined or have your dreams evaporated into thin air?

Chances are, the life you are living today is nothing like the life you expected to have.  You sold your ideals for a dollar bill.  Why?  “Because that’s just what adults do.” We have to make a living to pay the bills.  There’s food to buy and television to watch.  How are we supposed to save the world when we’re up to our eyeballs in debt?  The mortgage isn’t going to pay for itself, is it?

“It is what it is.” There’s no time for dreams.  Dreams don’t pay the bills or put food on the table.  Our younger selves didn’t understand what it meant to be adults.  We have obligations now and we’ve built our lives around some idea of what it means to be a “responsible adult” in today’s world.  What we ended up with is a career that steals our time and energy, a mortgage that drains our income and debt from all the Stuff we bought to furnish and decorate our home.  We have many thousands of dollars in Student Loans and a couple of cars to pay for.  Oh yeah, and the credit cards…

It looks like being an adult isn’t all that we’ve been led to believe.  All of our lives we’ve been told that adults are “responsible”, implying that it’s somehow more virtuous to fall in line and follow the leader than it is to follow our youthful ambitions.  The “responsible” thing to do is find a job, get married and have children, buy a house and a couple of cars, then keep your nose to the grindstone until it’s finally time to retire.  When that day does come, we hope that our health will last long enough to enjoy the life of our dreams; the life we’ve been waiting our whole life to live.

And what has it all amounted to?  A garage full of Stuff we never really needed in the first place, kids that seem to resent our very existence unless we’re buying them something, a spouse that we barely seem to know anymore and a huge house we aren’t able to enjoy because we are at the office earning a paycheck to pay the mortgage.

Sure, we have all the Stuff we could ever imagine.  We drive nice cars and wear nice clothes.  Our home is decorated like a magazine cover and on the weekends we are able to relax with a cold beer in the backyard.  On the surface things seem wonderful.  A little deeper though and things don’t look as good anymore.

What are we sacrificing to create this image of the “perfect” life?  Our time, our energy, our sanity?  If the average person starts working fresh out of college at the age of 22 and retires at 67, that’s 45 years of life sold for a dollar bill.  We’re trading our life to fill our garage with junk, for a heap of metal to take us to a job so that we can pay for that same heap of metal.

What if there were a different way?  What if you didn’t have to spend your entire life working?  Would you do it?  If you knew that in 10 years you could be financially able to walk away from your job with enough money to pay for all your expenses, would you have the ambition to make it happen?

There is a way, it is possible!  The only problem – of course there’s a problem – is that to get there, you have to minimize your spending and save.  “But that’s Un-American!” Our entire lives we’ve been told to “get out there and boost the economy.”  After the attacks on September 11 we were told to go shopping as a way to stand up against terrorism.  Does that mean we’re supporting terrorism by saving money?  Of course not!

What I’m talking about isn’t a new concept.  It isn’t impossible.  It’s been done before and it’ll be done again.  And not just by a few outliers but by many thousands of people.  Will you be one of them???

What’s the secret?

Live Frugally: Cut your expenses to the bone.  Anything that doesn’t offer real value to your life is out.  That might mean going without a contracted cell phone, cable television, TiVo or Netflix.  Find alternatives or other ways to occupy your time.  It may seem impossible now but you can live without these things.

Get Out of Debt: You can’t be financially independent when you’re in debt.  Get out, get out, get out! By adopting a frugal lifestyle, the extra money you’re able to save can be applied towards eliminating your debt.  After you’ve saved up enough money to cover six months of living expenses, every penny should be thrown at your debt.

Save: Once you’ve paid off the last of your debt it’s time to save like never before.  It may take you a few years, maybe even ten or 15, to save enough money to become financially independent but that’s better than 45 years!

Invest: This is where the magic is!  With the money you’ve saved, you can invest it into conservative investment vehicles which will pay you interest in fixed intervals over a specific length of time.  If you’ve saved and invested enough, this interest will cover all of your monthly expenses.  Now your money is working for you, not the other way around!

If you’d like to learn more about the process outlined above, I recommend checking out the book Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez.

When I wrote out my list of goals, originally Goal #99 was to ”Visit Disneyland”.  Realistically, though, it didn’t make any difference whether I visited Disneyland in California or Disney World in Florida.  Actually, the goal should have been more specific since I wasn’t so much interested in visiting Disney as I was in watching the fireworks at Magic Kingdom.  That was the precise moment I had always envisioned when thinking about this goal.

A couple of months ago I booked a flight to Orlando so that I could witness a space shuttle launch, Goal #98 on The List.  No more than a week later the launch was postponed and rescheduled, leaving me and Erin with a couple of options.  Either we could cancel our tickets for a $150 fee (each ticket) and reschedule the flight for a later date or we could fly to Orlando as planned and visit Disney World instead of the Kennedy Space Center.

Orlando it was!

I’ve been to Florida once before, in January, during the coldest stretch of weather since 1927!!!  This time I got to experience Florida while breaking records on the other end of the thermometer.  It was HOT!

Our first day in Orlando was at Disney World, officially completing Goal #99.  We rode some rides, took too many pictures of the Magic Kingdom and tried our best to beat the heat.  When it was time for the fireworks, we may have had the best seat in the entire park, right across the street from the Magic Kingdom.  We picked out our spot two hours before the fireworks started.  Even though this may seem like a long time – and it was - when the fireworks started, the last thing on my mind was how long I’d been waiting for this moment!

To say that the fireworks were amazing would be an insult to Disney.  They were INCREDIBLE!!!  I’ve seen fireworks all over the country, from Hawaii to Philadelphia and nothing, NOTHING!, compares to the fireworks at the Magic Kingdom.  It was everything I could have ever imagined and more.

We spent the next day at Sea World riding rollercoasters and drinking lots of water!  We went to three different shows; dolphins, seals and Shamu Rocks.  Seeing what these animals are capable of fills me with a mixture of confused emotions.  At the same time I was filled with wonder and amazement, I found myself saddened and frustrated about how we treat the world and the creatures we share it with.  I couldn’t help but think about what we are doing to the dolphins around the world.  While sailing along the Na Pali coast in Hawaii, a pod of dolphins swam along our boat, jumping and spinning in the air.  They were so trusting and fearless.  It makes me sick knowing that such disgusting and pointless destruction of life is occurring around the globe and its frustrating how little we seem to care as a global community.

I’m going to buck the standard personal finance advice, as it seems that many financial bloggers out there like to slam Disney and the like as being overpriced.  Disney and Sea World are incredible places to visit and I felt like the memories I will have and the service I received while there was above and beyond what I could have expected.  The staff at both of the parks works tirelessly to make sure that the people in the parks have a fun and enjoyable vacation.  What I received in service and smiles was beyond the ticket price I paid to get into the parks.  The fireworks at Disney were priceless and the shows at Sea World are now fond memories I will carry with me for a long while.

The value of money is measured by your return on investment and, for me, the trip to Orlando was worth every penny!

I’ve never been to a pawn shop.  Never, that is, until today.

I’ve been fighting a battle against Stuff for a while and finally decided it was time to sell my Ruger 10/22 rifle.  Finding the easiest, most convenient method to sell my rifle was my primary objective, not money.  A pawn shop seemed like the most logical choice since I probably wouldn’t get a good price for the gun but it would be easy to sell.

When I arrived, I was a little turned off by the place.  The windows and door were covered in steel bars and to get in I had to ring a doorbell and be buzzed in like a maximum security prison.  Inside it was small, cramped and full of people making deals at the counter.  DVDs, flat screen TVs, musical equipment, rings, old coin collections and a plethora of Stuff hung from the walls, was displayed in glass cases and leaned against the counters.

When it was time to do business it didn’t take long to be asked the question I had no answer to, “How much are you looking to get for it?”  I walked in there thinking I’d be lucky to get $50 but I went high, knowing it would be easier to negotiate if I gave myself some room to work.  ”I was thinking about $150,” and then I began describing all the improvements I made to the rifle; the new stock, scope and bi-pod.

 ”Well, it looks like $80 is as high as I can go,” the clerk said, punching keys on the keyboard of his computer.  He pointed out flaws in the rifle that I already knew about and made his case for why $80 was his limit.  Since all I was really concerned with was getting rid of the thing, I accepted the offer.  Afterall, it was $30 more than I had expected to get when I walked in.  He entered my personal information (name, address, phone number) into the computer and I signed a sales receipt before leaving with cash in hand.

Erin came along with me wondering how much money she would be able to get for an old ring.  It took the clerk about a minute to come to a definitive conclusion, making it obvious that jewelry is something they deal with regularly.  “$135.”  That was more than I’d told her she would get.  She wanted to check around other places so she thanked him for his time and we left, visiting two more stores; another pawn shop and a store that buys gold.  The second pawn store offered $40 less than the first and the gold store could only offer $85 for the weight of the gold. 

While I was waiting for Erin to finish talking to the clerk at the second pawn store, I began looking around at all of the merchandise for sale.  They had all the same things as the last place; DVDs, CDs, musical equipment, electronics and televisions, jewelry and watches.  As I was looking around, it dawned on me that all these items probably came from people in dire financial situations who were selling their worldly possessions just to make ends meet.  The iPods, video games, DVDs and CDs, the flat screens and computers, the musical instruments and stereo equipment; all the material items that we convince ourselves that we can’t live without become the first things to go when we reach financial bottom.

Somehow these things that we “can’t live without” lose their importance when we find ourselves in situations where we might be without a place to live or are unable to put food on the table.  I wonder, had these people never bought all of this Stuff in the first place, would they have found themselves in a situation where they needed to hock their possessions to survive?

I’ve always wanted to learn how to rock climb.  Its one of those skills that seems practical since a few of my goals involve climbing something.  Not to mention that its also pretty damn cool!  The first time I went indoor climbing was a couple of years ago and I found that I had a natural ability, or, what I perceived as being ability anyways.

My second time climbing was about a month ago, before leaving for Hawaii, and by the time we were done for the day we were already making plans to take our skills to the next level by taking the basic safety course offered by the gym.  That lesson happened a couple of days ago and I feel like I learned a lot.  Some of the “mystery” of climbing was unveiled and now I know how to tie a knot and safely belay for another climber.  After our lesson we found some of the more challenging walls in the gym that had been previously off-limits but now, with our new skills, we were able to tie in and climb.  As for that “natural” ability of mine, well, it seems I have a lot of work to do!

At the beginning of the year I laid out a number of specific goals which I hoped to accomplish over the course of the year.  How are things going?

Diet:  “I will no longer treat my mouth like a garbage can and junk food will find its way to the trash where it belongs.  I will learn about healthy eating, teach myself how to prepare healthy meals and reduce the number of times I visit restaurants significantly.”

Our goal for the month of June was to cut our restaurant spending to $190.  Here are how the numbers shook out for the month:

Grocery Spending: $258.50

Restaurant Spending: $237.80

Hawaii Food Spending: $290.67 (does not include food paid for with cash)

We didn’t reach our goal of $190, which, admittedly, we didn’t strive to accomplish this month.  We did cut our restaurant spending by nearly $20 compared to last month without any effort to improve.  This leads me to believe that if we just put our minds to it, $190 could easily be reached, even surpassed.

Much of our “trouble” comes from rewarding ourselves with food.  At the end of the week we like to go out to eat.  Nothing fancy, just a night away from the kitchen.  Now that summer is in full force, ice cream is a treat we indulge in a little too often.  Summer classes started last week and we are on campus for 8 hours a day, meaning we can eat on campus or walk to Subway.  We could brown bag our lunches but I feel like that would limit us to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches everyday.

What are your thoughts?  How often do you reward yourself with a meal out or ice cream on a hot summer evening?  Any suggestions of how we can spice up a sacked lunch?

Personal Resolutions

Travel: My goal is to travel 50,000 miles in 2010.  This month we traveled to Kauai, Hawaii, adding another ~8,000 miles, for a grand total of 29,300 miles so far this year.  In two weeks we leave for Orlando, Florida to visit Disney World.  This is our last scheduled trip of 2010.

Unless someone can convince me of a good reason not to, I am going to mark off Goal #99) Visit Disneyland from The List.  I’ve never been to either and either one will satisfy this goal in my mind…unless you know something I don’t.  Have you been to both?  What are the differences?  Do you have any suggestions to have the most enjoyable experience possible?  Where’s Mickey hang out these days?

Education: My goal is to maintain a 3.5 GPA.  Currently I have a 3.619.  Earlier this summer I took a Personal Finance class which I expected would be an easy A.  I was right.  I learned a little but, honestly, not a lot.  The teacher was a nice guy, though, and I did enjoy the class.  It was a nice refresher of some basic concepts.

As I mentioned earlier, I am back in school again, taking Chemistry, and so far, so good.  The teacher seems like a great guy.  The students in the class are very vocal, asking lots of questions and stimulating some interesting conversations.  The professor is very patient, willing to help and explain when we are confused.  Our first test is this Monday, so I guess we’ll see how I’m doing at that point but for now I feel like I’m actually understanding what I’m learning.  That’s always a good sign!

Well, that’s the update!  Anything else you’d like to know about or get updated on?  Let me know in the Comments!  Have a great weekend!

Heaven, Hell and God are all concepts which I’ve never been able to convince myself to believe and as such I’ve always had an atheistic view towards religion (though I prefer not to use the word ”atheist” to describe myself as it implies an acknowledgment of what I consider imaginary).  And though I can find value in the teachings of the Bible or Qur’an, I view God (by any name), Heaven and Hell as being as real as ghosts or UFOs.  Creationism seems like a weak explanation for the origin of man, especially considering the scientific evidence supporting evolution.

Traditional Western religions, therefore, are a hard pill for me to swallow.

Six months ago, I realized that I’m going to die and death was no longer a nebulous concept for which I had only a superficial understanding.  This revelation caused a lingering sense of despair, leaving me questioning the meaning of life.  Knowing that I couldn’t turn to God for comfort, the answers to my questions would have to come from somewhere else.

While in the airport waiting for my connecting flight, I was browsing around a bookstore where I found a book about Buddhism.  Flipping through the pages, reading a little here and there, I realized almost immediately that the ideas in the book matched many of my own opinions.  Page after page I felt like someone had taken the thoughts from my mind and written a book with them.  It all made sense.  I bought the book and spent the next two hours reading.

Religion should come natural to the person practicing it and in the past I’ve tried to embrace the unknown, or “have faith”, but always found myself feeling at odds with what I consider to be ”truth”.  I shouldn’t have to force myself to believe in something.  And while I feel strongly that religion provides an abundance of benefits to humanity, I believe meaning and purpose in life can be achieved without God.

Buddhism falls in line with many of my personal beliefs; there are no Gods to worship, I am not required to put my faith in anything that I don’t understand or can’t comprehend and seeking Truth is at the core of Buddhism.  Thus, Buddhism will be the world religion which I study in detail.  Though I have no plans of becoming a monk, there’s much I can learn which will expand and solidify many of my own beliefs.

Are you religious?  Have you ever found yourself facing the same sorts of questions as I am?  How were you able to overcome these uncertainties, or have you?

As humans, we are horrible at knowing what will make us happy.  From a psychology standpoint, we generally avoid actions that will inflict some kind of pain or suffering and actively pursue what we think will make us happy.  In our modern capitalist culture we have been socialized to think the consumption of goods will make us happy.

But does it?

On a recent trip through Aspen, Colorado I found myself falling into a sort of trap.  Seeing the smiles on the faces of all the beautiful people drinking expensive wines on restaurant patios, the flashy cars rolling through the streets and the gorgeous ski-in ski-out mansions made me envious of the wonderful lives these people seemed to live.  Then I started asking myself questions like,  “Why am I envious of such a lifestyle?”, “Are these people really as happy as they seem?”, “How do so many afford a lifestyle of such luxury and extravagance?”

Envy is a powerful emotion.  According to British philosopher Bertrand Russell, “envy is one of the most potent causes of unhappiness” because it reveals our self-perceptions and desires in relation to others.  At a time when the MTV-lifestyle is seen as the epitome of success and credit cards are readily available, we (or at least people under 35) have been taught to think we need - and deserve – a celebrity lifestyle.  This kind of entitled attitude is dangerous and despite having previously explored a high-life image of expensive dinners, exclusive parties, “celebrity” friends, penthouse apartments and European cars, only to discover that I was more unhappy than ever, I still find myself occasionally drawn in by the Siren’s song of the high-life.

A few years ago it dawned on me how absurd and unsustainable such a lifestyle is while in the VIP section of a nightclub with several well-known NFL players.   I found myself surrounded by so-called beautiful people, wearing oversized watches embedded with diamonds - one more extravagant than the next, drinking bottles of champagne costing several hundred dollars each.  I could feel envious eyes peering in from beyond the red velvet ropes – wasn’t this what I was supposed to aspire to?  MTV and other social indicators told me so, but I couldn’t have felt any more like a fraud.  After I left the club that night, early and alone, I never heard from any of my “friends” again, confirming that I had made the right choice to walk away from that lifestyle.   Through this experience, I now realize that the so-called happiness derived from living this type of lifestyle is fleeting and only surface deep.  

In the subsequent years I’ve discovered that by cutting my expenses, not increasing my earnings, I have more time and freedom to pursue the same things I enjoyed and dreamed about as a kid.

So what did I cut?

Big nights out.  Dinners at trendy restaurants.  Drinks into the early morning hours.  These things can add up to big bucks.  A nice dinner here or there with people that you really enjoy is perfectly fine, if not important, but should not be a lifestyle.

The wardrobe.  I can’t figure out why anyone really needs multiple pairs of jeans or shirts that are exactly the same (especially t-shirts that cost upwards of $100).  If you are worried that people will notice whether or not you wear the same thing every day, they won’t.  Think you will never have enough clean clothes?  You will.  Clothes are rarely legitimately dirty after one wearing.  Donate anything you have not worn in a year, even if it is a “nice” article of clothing that you “forgot about”.  You probably won’t wear it again anyway.  When getting new clothes, buy things that will serve multiple purposes and can be worn year-round.

The fancy car. This doesn’t mean we should all drive a beater - a car should be safe - but it does mean that having a car that is losing value faster than Lehman Brothers is going to hurt you.  For some reason people seem to forget that cars depreciate and are therefore not an asset.  You’ll also save on insurance and registration if the car is even just a few years old.  Better yet, ride a bike.  Gas is expensive.

The cable. According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day.  That is 28 hours each week and 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year!  In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube.  Figuring in a fixed average cable bill of $71 per month for those 9 years ($71 x 12 months x 9 years) you would save $7,668 just by cutting out cable.  If you think you need television for news or entertainment, try going without it for a little while.  Suddenly that extra 28 hours per week will be obvious.

So how do so many people afford a lifestyle of such luxury and extravagance?  Well, many don’t.  If you follow the news even just a little, you’ve probably heard that the average American carries more the $8,000 in credit card debt.  According to Liz Pulliam Weston at MSN, this isn’t entirely true, claiming that 50% of credit card users owe $8,000 or less.  Still, 1% of the 84 million American households who have at least one credit card owe $21,400 or more – that’s 840,000 households that have racked up some serious credit card debt.  Additionally, as of May 2010 there were 2,082,113 foreclosed homes in the US.  In some states, the foreclosure rates are as high as 1 in 78.

As for the smiles, fancy cars, and castles in Aspen - it’s mostly surface deep and difficult to maintain.  Credit cards are maxed, the fancy cars are just for show, and the ski castles are for sale.  There are a lot of $30,000-millionaires out there living lives well beyond their means who will never achieve the freedom to pursue their childhood dreams.  Don’t be one of them.  Cut your expenses to get the time and finances for doing the things you really want.